Throne Away Page 10

The name “Moira” comes from the word “moirai,” which was the collective name for the three goddesses who were responsible for weaving individual destinies for humans at birth. Translated, “moirai” means the Fates, or “the Apportioners.”

  The three sisters—Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos—decided the fate of everyone on Earth. There’s some question as to who their parents were, but from what I can tell, they were the daughters of Zeus and Themis. Clotho was in charge of spinning the thread of life for all mortals, as well as deciding when they were born and when they’d die. Lachesis was responsible for determining how much life a person had by measuring the thread Clotho spun. In essence, she wrote their destiny. Lastly, there was Atropos. Once Lachesis measured the thread of life, Atropos would use her sheers to cut it, meaning she was in charge of determining how a person would die.

  They were so powerful that even Zeus couldn’t change the destinies they wove. Even when he knew that his son would die during the Trojan War, he was powerless to stop it.

  I say all of this to you for a couple of reasons. First of all, the other day when we were talking about fate and destiny, you said that you believe life’s already written and can’t be changed. It made me wonder if you might’ve heard this story before, and that’s where your belief comes from. After stumbling across this, I can see why and how you feel that way. But I also wanted to share something else with you, maybe something you haven’t thought of yet.

  “Moirai” means the Fates. But the singular version, Moira, means to “share” something, be it land or food or victory. It likely comes from the Latin word, “meritum,” or what we would say, “merit,” which means “a reward.” That’s when it hit me. I think that’s what you were meant to do, Moira…share with your people. You’re a reward for Ilunabarra.

  During the tour yesterday, you told me so many things that you’d like to change about your country. Each idea was better than the last, and I genuinely feel that Ilunabarra will be better off with you in charge. I know you said that you don’t want the responsibility, but maybe, just maybe, you were put here to make those changes so that you can then go on to live your best life.

  I’m simply trying to find the reason we’ve crossed paths so many times in our lives. There has to be a purpose, but I don’t think the intention is always shown right away. Maybe we aren’t ready to know the reasoning behind it yet. But we have to trust that in time, it will be revealed.

  xx Ryan

  For many moments after reading the end of the letter, I just sat and stared at his beautiful words on the page. I wasn’t sure if my heart was melting or breaking; all I knew was that it was going through a significant change.

  The last paragraph had hit me hard, although I wasn’t exactly sure why. Luckily, I was left to myself while I ate lunch, which allowed plenty of quiet time to think. By the end of the meal, I’d figured out what it was about his letter that had stuck with me.

  “Andrew,” I called out, hoping I hadn’t sounded alarmed. When he came in, I stood from the table and said, “I am having dinner on the boat tonight. Please inform my parents and the captain of this. Thank you.”

  “Will it be just you?”

  I held his stare, knowing his motivation for asking me that. “No. I have friends who are here on holiday, and I would like to show them Ilunabarra from the water.”

  “My apologies, Princess, but you know as well as I that they won’t allow that to happen.”

  “If so, then kindly remind them of what happened to my brother.”

  That was enough to shut him up, and I knew it’d be more than enough to make my parents concede. I didn’t dole out threats, and they knew that. If I said it, I meant it.

  It was the perfect evening to be on the water. Not a cloud in the sky, the ocean was relatively calm, and the weather was perfect.

  “Keep this up, and I’ll never want to leave,” Ryan teased as he stood next to me at the back of the boat.

  He only had two more days on the island, and the closer we got to the end of the week, the harder it was to accept that he’d have to leave. I didn’t want him to, though. He’d made my duties bearable. As much as I hated the meetings and lectures with my father, I knew that once I got through them, I’d be able to see Ryan again. He’d become my reward when my obligations were finished. With him not here, I would have nothing to look forward to.

  And it wasn’t only Ryan, either. This was the second day that I got to spend time with Amara. She was bubbly, full of wonder and excitement, and brilliant to boot. I couldn’t remember being that smart at her age. Ryan and Amara were the perfect package. One I’d never get to fully unwrap because of my responsibilities.

  “She looks like she’s having a blast.” I pointed to the helm, where Amara—wearing the captain’s hat—sat proudly behind the wheel. Mandy stood beside her, capturing the moment on her cell phone, as Amara pretended to steer the ship.

  “That hat is two sizes too big for her.” Happiness and pride were evident in his voice.

  “I hope the captain knows he won’t get it back,” I teased, recalling Amara’s pleading eyes when she wore my crown yesterday. She’d made no secret of wanting to keep it. And honestly, if I could have, I would’ve given it to her. Her eyes could make the stingiest man give her his last dime.

  Ryan lifted his glass to his lips, but due to the smile he wore, his drink dribbled out of his mouth, down his chin, and onto his white shirt.

  I grabbed his hand before he had a chance to touch his chest. “Don’t rub it; you’ll make it worse. Come with me.” With his hand in mine, I led him toward the cabin entrance. “I’ve got something that’ll help get it out. Hopefully, it won’t stain.”

  Even though his hand had fallen back to his side, I still clutched it. The warmth that transferred from his skin to mine was something I’d never grow tired of. We had a connection, even without touch. But when I had even a little contact with him, I never wanted to let him go.

  Just before crossing the threshold into the cabin, he glanced up to where his daughter and sister-in-law were. “They’ll be fine. We’ll be right back if you’re worried.” I squeezed his hand for reassurance.

  I led Ryan down the hallway toward the washroom in the back, stopping along the way to look at the photos that hung on the wall. When inviting him aboard the yacht for dinner, I had explained that it belonged to my family, so it shouldn’t have come as any surprise to find family portraits hung about.

  “Is this you?” he asked while pointing to a picture on the wall.

  I studied it for a moment and then swallowed down the lump in my throat. “Yeah, that’s me and my brother, Daniel. I must have been three or four, which would’ve made him six or seven.”

  “Were you two very close?”

  “Like most siblings, we had our moments,” I said with a laugh. “From what my mother has said, when I was really little, he used to want to do everything for me. She said he used to call me his baby.”

  “That’s really cute.” Sympathy ran deep in his tone as he traced his thumb along my palm, which set my body on fire. I had to advert my eyes to hide the effect he had on me.

  “Yes, it is. But then we went through a period where we couldn’t stand to be around each other. At the time, I didn’t understand it, but looking back, I realize it was probably because he was at that age where hanging out with his little sister wasn’t much fun.”

  “That’s normal, though.”

  “Yeah, and it didn’t last long, either. I was sent away to boarding school when I was twelve—he was fifteen—so we got along great then. It might have had to do with the fact that I wasn’t home much to annoy him, but regardless, we remained pretty close after that.”

  “Did he go to boarding school, too?”

  I rolled my eyes to myself. “No, he didn’t have to. He had private tutors; not to mention, he was being groomed to take the throne, so he had to be here to learn. I, on the other hand, was too much for my parents to handle. Keep in mind, those were
their words.”

  “What made you too much to handle?”

  “I have no idea. I was the most perfect child.”

  He laughed, seeing right through my fib. “I’m sure.”

  “I saw things slightly differently than my parents did. Such as…I didn’t feel that I needed to follow the same set of rules that applied to Daniel. He was assuming the throne and I wasn’t, nor would I ever—or so we all thought at the time. Anyway, because of this, I felt that there should have been more leniency when it came to me. They obviously disagreed.”

  “So what you’re saying is…you were a wild child.”

  “I was young, so really, how bad could I have been? And if you think about it, I doubt I would have acted out so much when I was older if they hadn’t kept such stringent restrictions over me when I was younger. If they would’ve simply let me get it out of my system when I was ten or eleven, then I might have behaved a lot better when I was sixteen and seventeen.”

  That would also mean I wouldn’t have kissed him in the bar.

  Ryan took a few more steps down the hallway, observing a couple more pictures before stopping at one. “How old were you in this photo?”

  I took a second to recall what year it had been taken. “Nine or ten, maybe.”

  “So this is about what you looked like when you saved me in the pool?”

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  He hummed to himself for a second before saying, “It’s just so weird that I’ve always remembered that day like it had happened yesterday, but anytime I try to think of the girl—well, you—I can’t picture her.”

  I knew what he meant, because I felt the same. “That’s how it is for me, too. It’s like my mind blurred out your face or something. And not just in that memory. I can’t recall your face from the karaoke club, either. Although, alcohol might have been to blame for that one.” Even though I’ve always remembered everything else about that night.

  He smiled at me before moving to the next photo. “Is this your brother?”

  “Yes, that’s Daniel. He was maybe twelve or thirteen there.” I studied the image of my brother behind the wheel of a sailboat and sighed at the sight of him squinting at the camera, his smile brighter than the sun in his face.

  Ryan quietly regarded the picture for a moment.

  The silence was a little awkward, so to break it up, I decided to tell him a little more about my brother. “He loved sailboats. I never understood why, because they are so much work, but he said that was his favorite thing about them. When he was sixteen, my parents bought him one for his birthday.”

  Ryan barked out a laugh. “Wow, that’s quite the birthday present.”

  “Well, sixteen is a big deal—it’s the age a prince must be to assume the crown. So for my parents, it was a major milestone, knowing that if anything happened, the throne was safe.” The concept of my brother dying hadn’t been on anyone’s mind. “And to celebrate the occasion, they gave him what he had wished for since he was little.”

  “If you don’t mind me asking…”

  I knew the question that would follow, so I decided not to make him ask it. “When he found out that our father was ill, and that he would be crowned King within a couple of years, he wanted to travel one last time. One day, he took the sailboat out, but he never returned.”

  Even though I wasn’t looking at him, I could feel his stare burning the side of my face.

  “The irony is that he named his boat Sail la Vie, a play on words to mean sailing is life, yet for Daniel, sailing led to his death.” When I turned my head to look at Ryan, I was surprised to see him staring at the photo with pinched brows, as if concentrating on something.

  But before I could find out what it was that he had zeroed in on, Patrick interrupted. He stood at the mouth of the hallway, arms crossed over his broad chest, and said, “Dinner is ready. They are about to start serving.”

  It was obvious that he hated this entire situation, much like Andrew, but their concerns were overruled by my parents. Not to mention, without the public around, their duties were to ensure the safety of the yacht, which allowed me to spend more alone time with Ryan. That was probably what they hated most.

  “We’ll be right there.” I took Ryan’s hand and practically dragged him away from the picture. “Let’s hurry up and treat that spot before it sets. Although, we are about to eat, so you might need more of this when you’re done.”

  As I began to spot-treat his shirt, I was surprised when he asked, “Don’t you have people to do this kind of stuff for you? I didn’t imagine you’d know how to treat a stain yourself.”

  If I didn’t like him so much, that comment might have bothered me. “I know how to take care of myself, Ryan. I even know how to cook a meal and tie my own shoes. I went to boarding school, don’t forget. I didn’t always have servants.”

  His cheeks glowed the faintest shade of red as he averted his gaze.

  Seeing him embarrassed did something to me, as if the sight of him shy caused me to become more flirtatious. I stepped closer until there was not an inch between us, pushed up on my tiptoes so that my lips brushed against his, and whispered, “I know how to do a lot of things, Ryan…even things I’ve never done before.”

  I pressed my lips to his and held them there for a moment, gripping his shirt in my fists. And when I pulled away, I held eye contact for a few seconds, smiled, and then turned to head out of the room, trusting that he would follow.

  He was quiet during dinner, and after, as we sat on the bow of the boat to watch the sunset, he disappeared into his own world. He wasn’t cold or anything toward me; he still engaged in conversation, yet his responses were shorter than usual and lacked the excitement I’d grown to love.

  By the time we made it back to the dock, I had no idea what was going on with him. The only thing I could assume was that he shared the same feelings I did about his time left on the island. The thought of him leaving had the potential to steal my enthusiasm, too. Either way, I’d brought something for him, and no matter what his demeanor was like, I planned to give it to him.

  “I really appreciated your letter about my name.” I stood, facing him, while everyone else made their way up the dock to the awaiting vehicles—except for Patrick and Andrew, who remained near the boat with us. “And no, I hadn’t heard it before.”

  “Well, good. I’m glad I could give you a little insight into the meaning of your name.”

  “It also made me think of something, and I want to share it with you.”

  For the first time since I’d kissed him in the washroom, a smile stretched across his face, and there was no denying how genuine it was. “Oh, yeah? What is it?”

  I pulled the small paperback from my purse and handed it to him. “It’s been a while since I read it, but after your letter, I went through it again. It helped me understand a lot—when I first got it, as well as today when I revisited the messages inside. My hope is that it’ll have meaning for you as well.”

  With my security so close, I couldn’t offer the type of affection that my body craved—the type of affection his presence commanded of me—so instead, I squeezed his hand. I only hoped he knew what I had meant by it.

  “Thank you,” he practically whispered as he flipped through the book.

  I wasn’t sure if he would read it, but I prayed he would.

  Chapter 10

  Ryan

  I’d had a weird feeling ever since seeing the photo of Moira’s brother.

  I couldn’t explain it, but when I first saw it, something felt oddly familiar. Then, when she mentioned the name of his sailboat, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. There was absolutely no way I could’ve known him—that would’ve been too weird. Although, considering all the run-ins I’d had with Moira throughout my lifetime, it wouldn’t have been that surprising.

  Mandy was on the couch with Moira’s book when I got out of the shower. I hadn’t gotten a chance to look through it yet, but here she was, so enthralled
with whatever was written on the pages that she didn’t even notice me enter the room.

  “Any good?” I asked while unlocking my phone. I needed to get in touch with Joey to see if he could help disprove this ridiculous theory I had about Moira’s brother. Unfortunately, ever since I married Carly, I hadn’t seen nor heard from him much. Which sucked because that had been less than a year after our graduation trip to this very island. I wasn’t sure if his number was still the same, so I had to track him down on social media.

  As I typed a message for Joey, Mandy said, “Yeah, it’s really interesting. Any idea why she gave this to you?”

  “I’m not sure, considering I don’t even know what it’s about.”

  “Recovering from a broken heart.” She hummed and set the book on the coffee table between us. “Maybe she’s trying to help you get over Carly and thought this would be a good way to assist you in successfully moving forward.”

  “Maybe.” I only half-listened, too busy finishing the message so I could hit send and put it out of my mind. I tossed my phone onto the cushion next to me and glanced from the paperback to Mandy. “What?”

  “Nothing.” Except the smile on her face meant anything but. “I’m just wondering how long it’ll take you to pack your bags and move here to sit beside her as her king.”

  That one statement did so many things to me. For starters, it made me imagine what it’d be like to be with Moira. Like, really be with her. I didn’t care about being a king. I would’ve likely chosen to be with her even if it meant living in a cardboard box. Then, once that thought fully settled in, I was reminded of all the reasons we could never be together.

  And that felt like a punch in the gut with a tire iron.

  “Even if she could be with me, I can’t be with her. I can’t pack up my shit and move here without giving up Amara. And there’s not a soul on this earth I’d give up Amara for. So wonder all you want, but if you’re waiting for me to move here to be with Moira, you’ll die a very old woman without ever seeing that day come.”