Kiss My Ash Page 13

  * * *

  It seemed the old adage of things getting worse before they got better was true.

  As much as I had wanted to call or text or knock on Kristy’s door until she answered, I couldn’t. I’d put everything on the table, laid it all on the line for her to do with as she pleased, essentially tying my hands behind my back. The ball was in her court, because I’d put it there, so I had no choice other than wait for her to make the next move.

  But after three long, excruciatingly quiet days, I was ready to slip on a black ski mask, sneak onto her court, and take back the ball that she clearly wasn’t interested in playing with. Had it not been Kristy’s weekend with Emma, I would have. And considering this just happened to be the one time Emma stayed home, fulfilling her promise of mother-daughter bonding time, I wasn’t even left with the option to text her, too afraid her phone might fall into the wrong hands.

  However, at about two o’clock on Saturday afternoon, a chorus of angels appeared, filling my garage with the sweet harmony of divine intervention. And when I peeked my head around the corner, rays of ethereal light brought my attention to the present I’d been sent from above. There, on the side of Kristy’s house, was a beautifully wrapped gift of golden opportunity, just waiting for me to tear into it.

  After verifying that neither Emma nor my dad was outside, I seized the moment before it slipped away, because I wasn’t dumb enough to believe another would come along anytime soon.

  Kristy’s disgruntled murmurs grew louder the closer I got. And the longer she stood there, twisting the handle on the spigot attached to the side of her house, the more creative her word choices became. In fact, she’d been so focused on coming up with new ways to use “bitch,” that she didn’t realize I was even there until I reached around her to help. A surprised squeal echoed against the wall before it was silenced by her hand over her mouth.

  By forcibly tightening the handle, I’d succeeded in slowing down the amount of water bursting from the faucet, although I wasn’t able to shut it off completely. Now, instead of it shooting out of the nozzle like a fire hydrant, it was more of a misting spray.

  “Oh my God, thank you,” Kristy practically sang while trying to wipe the water from her face with her hands. “I don’t know what the hell happened. It wouldn’t turn on at first, but once I got the handle to move, it went everywhere, and by then, I couldn’t get the damn thing off.”

  “I’m sure it’s an easy fix. I can take a look at it if you shut off the main water.”

  Her lids closed as a sigh, heavy with hopelessness, slipped past her downturned lips. “Ash…” She shook her head with my name caught in her throat, and then she covered her face with her hands, as if attempting to hide from me.

  Disregarding the fact that we were outside where anyone could see us, let alone my dad or Emma walking out, I wrapped my fingers around her wrists and gently lowered her arms to her sides. After a few seconds, reality hit, causing her to gasp and jump away with wide, fearful eyes.

  I didn’t argue, didn’t push or force her to remain close. Instead, I held her stare. “Kristy, it’s a hose. I think it’s safe to say no one will think twice about seeing me fix it for you.” I smirked and added, “Repairing your leaky pipe isn’t the same as you siphoning mine.”

  She blinked a few times, and the moment my teasing comment registered, she rolled her eyes, fighting off the slight curl at the corners of her mouth. “While I agree it’s unlikely anyone would question it, that’s not the reason I can’t accept your help.”

  “Then what is?”

  Her shoulders rose with the full breath she took, and then dropped when her exhale rushed out in a forceful huff. “Because we need boundaries. You doing everything for me while I just let it happen is a perfect storm waiting to happen. Do you mow anyone else’s grass? Fix their hoses or garage doors? Build them furniture for free? No, you don’t. So why should I allow you to do it for me?”

  I nodded, ready to concede. But before I did, there was one last thing I wanted to do. Gripping the handle to the spigot, I took one step toward her, close enough for her to hear me speak in a low tone.

  “Fine, Kris. Have it your way. You don’t want my help? I won’t offer it anymore. But can you just do me one favor?” I purposely curled my lips into a sinister grin when she nodded, and then dropped my voice even lower. “I want to hear you scream my name while I get you wet.”

  With that, I twisted the knob, releasing the temporary hold it had on the explosive water pressure. She stood in the direct path of the unrelenting spray, and the instant it soaked her entire upper body, she shouted, “Ash!”

  Laughing to myself, I walked away, leaving her to turn it off while trying to shield her face enough to see what she was doing. It was a dick move, and it probably made me an asshole, but it guaranteed she’d think about me for the rest of the day. Not to mention, I had every intention of going back over there later to fix it.

  I tugged my wet T-shirt over my head as I wandered into the kitchen to wash my hands. Dad took one look at me, then eyed my shirt that sat in a soggy ball of cotton on the counter. “Do I even want to know?” he asked with a faint smirk.

  “Leaky hose next door.”

  He nodded slowly, his attention set on something through the window over the kitchen sink. As I turned on the faucet to wash my hands, I followed his line of sight, realizing it was locked on Kristy. Catching him staring at her was one thing, but seeing the desire in his eyes while he watched her was enough to fill me with rage and make me want to vomit. In a desperate attempt to rid myself of both urges, I began to furiously clear my throat.

  At least it snapped him out of it. “What do you think of her?”

  “Huh? Her who?” I could’ve answered that myself, but I really hoped he meant someone else—someone other than the woman who consumed nine out of every ten thoughts I had on a daily basis.

  “Kristy. Your girlfriend’s mom.”

  I wasn’t sure where he got the idea that Emma and I were dating, especially since he’d only seen me around her once, but that would have to wait. Right now, I was far more interested in why he’d asked for my opinion of Kristy. “Uh, she’s nice. Why?”

  “I think I might ask her out. Dinner or drinks, nothing big. But I wanted to see what your thoughts were first. I don’t know how serious you are with her daughter, so I wouldn’t want to make it weird for you.” Oddly enough, his consideration was appreciated—just not the way he probably meant.

  “Well, I’m not sure why you’d want to ask her out; you’re rarely home. I’m by no means an expert on relationships, but I would imagine the biggest aspect of dating is…just taking a stab in the dark here…dates? Again, I could be wrong. But in the event that I’m right, I’m not sure how you’d manage to take her to dinner when you’re in another state.”

  “I’m home enough to take someone out at least once a week. Although, traveling would pose a problem once things progressed physically.” If he made one more comment about fucking Kristy, he’d learn very quickly just how much I opposed that idea. “Not to mention, it wouldn’t be anything serious to begin with.”

  The fact that I continued to entertain this conversation baffled me. “If you’re not looking for a relationship, why bother?”

  “Well, I started thinking about how this time next year, you’ll be gone, and I’ll be here by myself. I thought it might be nice to have someone around. I’ve gotten used to the company when I’m home, so the idea of living alone again doesn’t really appeal to me.”

  I chose to believe that was his way of saying he’ll miss me after I move out. He wasn’t a bad person, though I fully believed the man lacked the required sensitivity chip to nourish healthy relationships—of any kind. So, in his own way, he basically just admitted that he loved me.

  He’d be better off ordering a woman out of a catalog.

  I grabbed my shirt off the counter and clapped my hand on his shoulder. “Well, Dad…best of luck to you.”

&nbs
p; That was as close to “may the best man win” as I could get.

  I left my dad in the kitchen, staring out the window, and headed to the garage to get everything I’d need to fix Kristy’s hose. I knew her well enough to assume she’d mess with it for a few minutes before giving up and calling a professional. If I timed it right, I could shut off the water, repair the leak—it more than likely just needed new tape—then turn the main water back on and go home before she ever realized I was there.

  * * *

  Kristy: I told you I didn’t want your help.

  Her text came in after nine, so I could only assume she was in her room. When I peeked through my blinds and noticed light drifting through her blinds, I collapsed onto my bed and prayed this would be more than a few texts back a forth.

  Me: Yes, I recall you saying something like that. I also told you I wouldn’t offer again.

  Kristy: Then why did you fix it??

  Me: I never said I wouldn’t ever help again…just not offer.

  Kristy: Is this how it’s going to be from now on?

  Me: You mean do I plan to continue being there for you? Doing what I can to help you out when I know you need it? Support you? Look out for you when no one else will?

  It took two minutes for her response to come through.

  Kristy: Are you going to give me an answer to any of those?

  Me: Yes

  Again, two more minutes passed before her text popped up.

  Kristy: Well?? What is it?

  Me: That was my answer. Yes. To all of the above.

  That’s when she quit responding. Even after I asked if she planned to continue pushing me away, I got nothing back. Then again, her bedroom light was out; although, we’d stayed up enough nights talking for hours that I didn’t believe she was already asleep.

  But I didn’t worry about it, because as soon as Emma had gone back to her dad’s, Kristy wouldn’t have the option to ignore me any longer. If she expected me to provide her with answers, then she would have to do the same. After all, I hadn’t kept her in the dark about what I wanted, so really, she shouldn’t have too many questions to ask.

  I laid my head on my pillow and closed my eyes, full of confidence and determination for the next day. However, after I woke up and headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water, everything came crashing down around me. All my confidence had burst into flames. My determination dwindled to nothing.

  As I stood in front of the sink, staring out the window at my dad outside with Kristy, I realized what a fool I was to believe I had nothing to worry about. Clearly, age was important to her, and my dad’s didn’t pose an issue.

  Chapter Seven

  Kristy

  Emma had this amazing way of knowing just what to do to pull me from my funk. Actually, anyone could do it. All it took was constant distractions and someone to talk my ear off.

  Except now she was gone, and I was left alone with my thoughts.

  Most importantly, my thoughts regarding Ash’s text messages I hadn’t replied to. It wasn’t that I wanted to ignore him. Truth be told, I had no clue what to say. For the first time in my life, I had someone who wanted to take some of the stress off my plate, even after I acted like a bitch and told him I didn’t want his help.

  I’d tossed and turned for over an hour last night before finally falling asleep, wondering what the hell to do. There was no way I’d ever get him out of my head as long as he chased me, and I doubted I’d be able to restrain my feelings much longer.

  While the first two weeks had been painful, I had somehow managed to get through them. I’d lied to myself every day, saying it was getting easier when it wasn’t, saying I didn’t miss him when all I wanted was to hear his voice or see his smile. But I never gave in. Then he’d knocked on my door. The strength I’d foolishly believed I possessed had withered away, and the lies I’d told myself to get through each of the previous fourteen days unraveled. I was left in a pile of mess, a heap of my own, pitiful truth that threatened to drag me down like quicksand.

  And just like that, one face-to-face conversation demolished my false bravado.

  Since then, I’d fought tirelessly to regain my footing, only to slip and fall on my face anytime he was near. It’d been four days, and somehow, I was worse off now than I was the night his lie had come crashing down on me.

  So, it wasn’t that I chose to ignore him or that I wanted to hurt his feelings. I had no other option, at the end of my rope, praying to anyone who’d listen to just let me make it one more day, and then another, and another until I could at least breathe without feeling the splinters of my shattered heart slicing into my lungs.

  I needed to get out of the house, but being around others didn’t appeal to me. So, I took a chance and headed to the pool. Preventing Ash from following me became a covert mission worthy of James Bond. I had to wear a shirt that would make it look like I was heading out in case he saw through my window as I drove by. And rather than drive straight to the pool, I had to go all the way around as if leaving the subdivision. Which ended up being a complete waste of time, because as I passed his house, I noticed his garage door was down with his car parked in the driveway.

  I’d worked up a sweat just trying to go unnoticed, so instead of laying out for fifteen minutes like I usually did when I came here, I stripped off my shirt, kicked off my shoes, and dove into the deep end, not bothering to acclimate to the temperature first.

  Coming up for air, only to find someone a few feet away, in the pool when there wasn’t a soul in sight thirty seconds earlier, was enough to startle anyone. At least I didn’t scream this time, unlike yesterday when he came out of nowhere to help with my hose. Although, I did gasp, which caused me to choke, then cough until my throat was raw and my eyes watered.

  Surprisingly, the entire time I fought for my life, he didn’t do anything. He just stood there and watched. And when I finally pulled myself together and brought my attention to his face, his cold, dark stare knocked the wind out of me. Bitterness turned his usually strong and masculine features into harsh, unrelenting lines, the resentment so tangible it wrapped around my neck like a noose, strangling me.

  Yet none of that compared to the slight, nearly unnoticeable tremble in his bottom lip. The unadulterated grief in that one action left me gutted and hollow, more than the hurt in his eyes or the animosity in his expression combined.

  “Ash?” My breathing had been reduced to short, frantic pants, preventing my voice from filling words with sound. And the more I tried to regain control, the faster I lost it, until I was powerless to stop the anxiety from eating me alive.

  “Did Emma leave already?” Detached, that’s how he sounded. Despite the endless list of intense, negative emotions that riddled his entire face and posture, his voice lacked any semblance of them.

  I tried to shake it off, yet it left me lightheaded. “Uh, yeah. About an hour ago. How…how did you get here so fast? There was no way you could’ve known I was coming here, had time to change, and show up.”

  He furrowed his brow, but two seconds later, understanding crossed his eyes. It softened his expression enough to erase the confusion while maintaining the same stern edge from before. “I didn’t follow you, Kristy. I was already here.”

  I glanced around, knowing I had started to lose my mind but didn’t think I had officially lost it yet. “But I… There was no… Where…?”

  “I was in the men’s room. When I came back out, there you were.”

  I nodded, hating how foolish he made me feel.

  He stalked closer, eating up the distance between us in slow, menacing steps. It was enough to command my undivided attention. When he towered over me, my lungs practically deflated, and my heart ceased to beat.

  “Did my dad ask you out?” That one question explained every ounce of agony and fear and hostility that stared back at me.

  Closing my eyes and lowering my chin, I took a moment to catch my breath. It was like I’d just finished a marathon in the dead he
at of summer during a decade-long drought. But now that I understood his sudden change in attitude, calm began to settle my nerves and fill my chest with life again.

  Once I had a better grip on the situation, as well as my state of mind, I lifted my face to meet his eyes. “Yeah.” Just admitting that made me feel like I’d somehow cheated on Ash, even though that wasn’t possible. “He, uh…he caught me this morning outside on his way to the airport and asked if I wanted to get dinner or drinks sometime when he was in town.”

  Ash dropped his head and ran his fingers through his hair, almost fisting and pulling the roots. I’d recognized his dominant personality, his need to protect and defend while banging on his chest and being a man. At the same time, I could also acknowledge his giving and caring, sympathetic nature, taking his dominance for what it was without misconstruing it into something ugly or sinister.

  Which made his reaction shred me even more.

  “How did you know?”

  His arms fell to his sides as he glanced up, yet he didn’t look at me. “He asked me yesterday if I’d be okay with it. For whatever reason, he thinks I have a thing for Emma, so he wanted to make sure I wouldn’t have an issue or find it weird if he dated the mother of my girlfriend. He didn’t say he was going to, only mentioned that he had thought about it and wondered how I felt. Then I saw you two talking this morning.”

  “What did you tell him?” My stomach twisted into knots while I waited for the answer.