A Crowe's Song Read online

  The weight that had been on my chest immediately lifted. “If that’s what you’re freaking out about, then stop. I’m clean.” But suddenly, the weight returned. Heavier than before. “What about you?”

  Kenny jerked her head up so fast that I worried she’d caused damage to her neck. The lines between her brows deepened, creating shadows along her forehead. “Me? Oh, no…I don’t have anything, either. I’m clean.”

  Something felt off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. “So your only concern was getting something from me?”

  “Well, yeah.” She shrugged, and I swear, the glow of a halo circled the top of her head. “I mean, we don’t know each other that well, so I have no way of knowing how often you do this sort of thing. And the last thing I wanted to do was make an assumption—either way.”

  “I get it. And if it makes you feel any better, that was the first time anything like this has ever happened. All around…like, the first time I’ve ever slept with a guest, as well as the first time not using protection. And if that isn’t enough, then rest assured that I’ve only been with one other person, and when I learned that she had cheated on me, I immediately got tested. I haven’t been with anyone since, so I am absolutely positive that I’m clean.”

  She was quiet for a second, her lips twitching as if desperately wanting to pull to the side while she contemplated whatever she wanted to say. But it wasn’t a very long thought, because she met my stare with confidence shining brightly in her eyes. “If you always wore a condom, then why would you need to get tested?”

  “I didn’t need to; I wanted to for my own peace of mind.” I didn’t wait for her to ask another question before I asked one of my own. “How can you be so sure that you’re clean?”

  I worried that she would be offended by my forwardness, take it as an accusation more than the return of her question. Even though it might’ve sounded judgmental, that wasn’t at all how I meant it, so I was relieved the see the calmness cross her face.

  With an almost-smile on her lips, she said, “Because I’ve only had sex twice.”

  “You mean with two people?”

  The corners of her lips curled even more, and thanks to the light on the front of her cabin, I was able to see the crimson tide rise from her neck. “No, Drew. The first time we had sex was also the first time I had sex. Therefore, the shower was my second time…ever.”

  There was no way. My brain refused to accept her claim, yet I didn’t want to accuse her of lying, so I had to tread lightly. “I understand that I don’t have a lot of experience, but my ex was also a virgin when we first had sex, and there were certain signs that made it obvious that she hadn’t been with anyone else.”

  She lifted one shoulder, held it there a moment, and then dropped it with complete nonchalance. “I said I’ve only had sex twice, but that doesn’t mean yours was the first penis that’s ever been inside me.”

  My mouth opened and closed as I scrambled to find a response that didn’t consist of the F-bomb in any fashion. “I’m sorry, but…what? How the hell does that make sense?”

  “Let’s just say I have a few boyfriends…” She leaned closer and looked me in the eyes. “Of the silicone variety.” Laughter consumed her words while I struggled to follow along with her explanation. “But you don’t have anything to worry about or be jealous of; they have rather dull personalities, and you’re a way better conversationalist.”

  It took a few seconds, but it finally clicked. “Wait a minute. Hold on. Back that train up a bit. Are you saying you took your own virginity?” I was aware that it technically could be done, but I had never heard of anyone actually doing it.

  She turned her face away from the porch light, and if I had to guess why, it would be to keep me from watching her embarrassment color her cheeks. “Virgins have hormones, too. And when someone wants to know what it’s like, and wants to experience something that feels good, I don’t think it’s a bad thing if they take matters into their own hands.”

  “No pun intended?” I asked, lightening the mood.

  Not only did she laugh along, but she also brought her attention back to me. “You probably think that’s weird, or that I’m weird, but—”

  “No. I don’t think that at all. I’m more surprised than anything.” I felt like every word I used was wrong. I couldn’t seem to convey what I actually meant, so I shook my head and released a long exhale, hoping that would clear my mind enough to speak properly. “I’ve just never really known anyone who’s actually done that. It’s impressive.”

  Her smile widened. “It’s really not if you knew the whole story.”

  “Then why don’t you tell me?”

  Kenny glanced at her cabin for a second. “How about I tell you tomorrow?”

  That wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but at least it was a guarantee that I would see her again. “Yeah, it is getting late, and you still have to call your mom.”

  “That’s not why, Drew.” Her voice softened and made me want to wrap myself in it, as if it were a fleece blanket. “We’ve had a pretty special day, and I don’t want to risk losing that by talking about it.”

  My stomach instantly began to twist. “Is it a bad story? Did something bad happen?”

  “No, no. Nothing like that. It’s just about other people and motivations and whatnot, and I would like to keep past boyfriends or experiences out of the memory of our day.”

  “I can respect that.” I pinched the dimple in her chin between my index finger and thumb and ended the conversation with my lips. It was a highly effective way of making whatever topic we were talking about disappear.

  She slowly pulled away, her eyes gradually opening as if delayed. And as she slid to the side to exit the cart, she stopped and narrowed her gaze. “I’m not sure we made a decision about the whole drug store thing in the morning. Will it make you feel better or, at least, less stressed?”

  “My only concern is you, Kenny.” Honestly, the idea of being a father never scared me off, but I wasn’t about to tell her that. I didn’t want her to think that I’d forgotten the condom on purpose to knock her up, because that was not it at all. I wasn’t afraid of having a kid—it wouldn’t affect my life the way it would hers—but that didn’t mean I wanted one anytime soon. “If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll take you. If you’re confident in your birth control, then I’ll trust you.”

  “I’m confident,” she said as she leaned toward me for one last kiss.

  “Then I trust you.”

  Ever since Kenny showed up at the resort, I’d been flying through my daily tasks. I’d always thought that we had no downtime during this week, but as it turned out, we did. I guess I was so used to working at a snail’s pace throughout the rest of the year that it simply became my routine, regardless of how busy we were.

  Then again, without Kenny here, what reason did I have for working faster?

  Not for the first time, I wondered what it would be like without her here. Especially after last night. I wasn’t sure how I could possibly think that I’d be able to touch her, to completely be with her, and then let her go. Granted, it wasn’t like I had spent much time thinking before pushing her against my bedroom window.

  Or the shower wall.

  I shook my head, hoping it would disperse those thoughts for the time being. I had a job to do, and it wouldn’t get done if I couldn’t get my head out of the clouds. The faster I completed this assignment, the sooner I could see her again—I was supposed to meet up with her after cleaning the main house.

  But as soon as I opened the door to The Birdhouse, I realized I wouldn’t have to clean anything before seeing her, because there she was. Her back was to me, but I knew it was her. She stood in front of a display case with her head down, like she was praying. I slowly stepped closer, wondering what held her concentration—and how she hadn’t heard me come in—all while not scaring her like I’d done the other night on her porch.

  She seemed to be studying something on her phone, so I soft
ly said her name.

  “Kenny.” Practically a whisper.

  No response.

  So I took another step toward her. “Kenny.” This time, a little louder.

  Still nothing.

  Wondering if she was a figment of my imagination, I moved to her side, a couple of feet away. With her head down, her face was hidden behind the veil of blond silk, likely restricting her peripheral vision. “Kenny.” I tried one last time, and when she still didn’t respond or react, I went with another one of her senses—touch.

  When I lightly grazed her arm, she jumped so high I wouldn’t have been surprised if both feet lifted off the ground. But as soon as she recognized me, adoration replaced the fear in her eyes. I discovered that she couldn’t hear me because she had earphones in, probably listening to music.

  “You scared the crap out of me, Drew,” she panted with her hand against her chest. At least she wore a smile on her face. “I must’ve been concentrating too hard to see you. Which is probably why my mom always tells me not to wear headphones in public places.”

  “What were you concentrating on?”

  She glanced to the side and pointed at the display case. “I was just looking up some of the facts that are posted around the room. I found it all really interesting, so I decided to see what else I could find online about it.”

  Artifacts from Chogan were displayed behind glass cases, but the one she stood in front of mostly contained facts about black birds and the symbolism they held to the family. I could already recite everything verbatim on that subject, so the thought of being able to discuss it with her excited me.

  “Well, cleaning this room is my last task for today, so if you want, while I clean, I can tell you whatever you want to know about anything in here. It’ll save you from reading it all; plus, I have a few more tidbits that aren’t on any of the info posters. And when I’m done, we can grab something to eat.”

  She stuffed her earphones into her pocket and smiled. “I’d love to.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Kenny

  Sleep had evaded me most of the night, thanks to my overactive brain. I couldn’t stop replaying my evening with Drew and our subsequent conversation at the end. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but at the same time, I didn’t really care.

  I would deal with my feelings when we reached the end of the week.

  Until then, I planned to enjoy what little time I had left.

  As Drew began to clean the glass case where I stood, he pointed to what looked to be a stuffed bird, although upon closer observation, I realized it had never been alive. Sitting in front of it was a card filled with general information about black birds, but instead of reading it off to me, he recited it as if he’d written it in the first place.

  “Every animal has a special meaning to Native Americans. Such as, they believe that crows are symbols of good fortune. If they saw one, it would signify that something positive was coming their way. But considering that a blackbird is a completely different bird species, it has its own meaning.”

  “Wait…what? They aren’t the same?”

  “Well, no.” He held my stare with knitted brows, likely not understanding my confusion. “Crows are black birds, but blackbirds aren’t crows.”

  Assuming he was just messing with me now, I narrowed my gaze and said, “Your guest info center is filled with facts about crows, yet your resort is named after a completely different bird. That might be where you guys are going wrong with this place. Maybe if you rename it, people will flock to it.” That pun was a complete accident, although perfectly timed.

  His booming laughter, rumbly enough to make me think of an earthquake, filled the room. “No, Kenny…” The amusement rolling through his body made it difficult to speak.

  “No, what?” I pointed to the one card I had studied prior to him walking in and startling me—again. “In this one, both are used interchangeably. I don’t understand what the difference is.”

  “The difference between a crow and a blackbird?” he asked through hiccups of humor.

  I knew my unintentional joke was funny, but by the way he reacted, you’d think it was hysterical. Rather than respond, I simply crossed my arms and waited him out.

  When he finally settled down enough to be understood, he explained—though this time, without making me feel as though he were making fun of me. “The resort is called Black…Bird, as in a bird that is black. Two words. Which is not the same as the type of bird called a blackbird. One word.”

  “Oh…” Suddenly, so much made sense…like, why the name of the resort was two words.

  Evidently, it was too much to ask to go an entire day without turning into an overly ripe tomato. Except this time, rather than try to conceal the rapidly rising tide of the Red Sea that burned my cheeks, I embraced it.

  That’s a lie. I ignored it.

  “I got it now. You may carry on.”

  He shook his head with silent laughter dancing on his lips and went back to cleaning. “Anyway, blackbirds have a very different implication. They can be a good omen or a message of bad news, depending on where you’re from. In England, they’re regarded the same as the crow—symbolizing good luck. But here in America, they’re perceived to be a warning sign that there’s danger ahead.”

  “What if you just see a black bird, but you don’t know what kind it is?”

  He shrugged without taking his attention off the glass case as he wiped it down. “I guess it would depend on the person. Although, I’m pretty sure anyone who takes their meanings seriously would know the difference between the different animals and species.”

  As he moved on to another display case, I followed, enamored with his knowledge.

  “So, usually, when Natives speak of an animal, they are referring to the spirit. I’m sure you’ve heard the term spirit animal…well, that’s where it comes from. It’s kind of like how we have astrological signs, or how the Chinese have their own zodiac. They just believed that we all take on the spirit of an animal, and each one means something else.

  “For instance, the Cherokees believe that crows can see throughout time, which just means they can connect the past with the present. It’s also believed that they have the power of deep inner transformations. Meaning, they can recognize subtle shifts in energy, so they’re known for manifesting destiny, personal transformation, and alchemy.”

  “They sound like a pretty good animal spirit to have,” I said as I strolled behind him, taking in the history that surrounded me. I felt at peace here, like I had somehow visited this place before. Or maybe I had seen these artifacts, though none were recognizable.

  “Yeah, it’s not a bad one to have. Crows are actually very intelligent. Did you know that they have the largest brain-to-body ratio of all birds? They have a highly developed forebrain, which is where intelligence is regulated. But what’s even more interesting is that the anatomy of their brains is scarily similar to ours.”

  That really was an interesting fact, though I wasn’t sure why he’d posed it by asking if I knew it. Considering he just had to explain the difference between a crow and a blackbird, it was a rather safe bet that I hadn’t heard about the size of a bird’s brain. “No, I didn’t know that.”

  Drew smiled and then took his time putting the spray bottle and rag away. It was as if he wanted to torture me with his good looks before blowing my socks off with the knowledge that, along with being a gorgeous specimen, he was incredibly intelligent, too.

  “Anyway,” he said when he came back with a broom and dustpan, “the Hopi tribe believed blackbirds to be their guides into the underworld, as well as their directional guardians for the higher realm. So, as you can see, both are perceived to move between time and space.”

  I tried to follow along on the card behind the glass, but I eventually gave up when I realized that, rather than reciting memorized information, he had casually given me all the details in his own words, proving his intelligence.

  It was my new
favorite way to learn.

  I continued to study the artifacts in the display cases, fascinated by the random pieces of lost history. “They don’t actually think people who relate to these spirit animals can literally travel in time and visit different worlds, do they?”

  “No, but they believe they can spiritually, like in dreams and whatnot. They’re said to see visions and receive messages from the afterlife. They use the wisdom of their guardians to steer their lives and help with decisions.” The way his voice deepened, almost heavy with rejection, made me wonder if I had somehow offended him. He’d explained the Natives’ beliefs, but he hadn’t said if he agreed with them.

  Taking my chances, I asked, “Do you know what your spirit animal is?”

  “They have tests online that ask all sorts of things from how you spend your free time to what color you like best. So I’ve taken those, and regardless of when or how many times I take it, it always gives me the same answer. But I have no way of knowing how accurate they are.”

  “And what animal did it give you?” The second I saw the smirk curl his lips, I said, “Let me guess…a crow?” before he even had a chance to respond.

  “As a matter of fact, yes. How’d you know?” Sarcasm laced his voice and painted his face; his smile grew wider, causing his eyes to shine with amusement. “All jokes aside, though, it’s not a bad one to have. We are determined problem solvers who are strong defenders of our own domain, we fearlessly speak the truth, and we inspire tenacity.”

  “Is that so? Sounds completely made up to me,” I teased.

  At least he found that funny. Wisps of laughter eked past his curled lips as he moved to the garbage bin to empty the dustpan. “Trust me, if I were to make up superhuman traits, I’d say I can fly, spin paper into money, and predict the future.”

  “Good point.” I slowly crossed the room, moving closer to him. “So, did you say that crows are problem solvers?”

  “Yeah. It’s believed that crows are determined and can find their way around any barrier put in their path; they can find a way around any obstacle.” It was slightly amusing that, as he said that, he walked around the trash can that had been in front of him.