A Crowe's Song Read online

  That was when more of the puzzle pieces fell into place.

  And that was when I fell. Only I hadn’t been met with concrete. Instead, I’d fallen right into Drew Wheeler’s arms. Safe. Warm. And where my soul was always meant to be.

  Although, the problem still remained; I had no idea how to reconcile the realization with the fact that I would be leaving in a little more than twelve hours.

  I didn’t want to leave.

  But I couldn’t stay.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Drew

  I had tossed and turned all night, and when I did manage to fall asleep, it was never for very long. Images of Kenny, so vivid there was no way they were dreams, woke me up nearly every hour.

  At first, they were of her eyes, and how the sunset had made them appear brighter than I’d ever seen. Then, flashes of her smile, the pink deepening in her cheeks, and the sound of her hushed giggles stirred me awake. But what kept me up the most was the memory of how soft her skin felt against mine as we made love on the bow of the boat as the sun set on our time together.

  That had to be the most amazing moment of the entire week. No, my entire life. It was so incredible that I didn’t want it to end. Unfortunately, Kenny wanted to sleep alone last night, claiming she would be a chaotic ball of stress and didn’t want me to witness it. If I could’ve changed her mind, I would have, but it seemed Kenny could be pretty stubborn when she wanted.

  So now, I did my best to ignore the tightness in my chest—along with the extreme exhaustion weighing me down—while waiting for Kenny to check out of her stay at the resort. When I’d dropped her off at her cabin last night after our evening on the water, I had offered to pick her up and help get her luggage to her car, but much like with my offer to stay with her, she turned me down.

  As the seconds ticked past, the minutes going with them, I began to wonder if I had made up this entire trip in my head. Well, I obviously didn’t imagine Kenny; she was real. But I wondered if I had contrived everything between us. It’d felt so genuine, though. Everything about it, from her touch to her kiss. From her smile to the warmth that cloaked me every time I looked into her eyes. All the way to the feel of her body against mine. There was no way I had fabricated all that. Except it was the only explanation I could come up with as to why Kenny didn’t appear to feel the same. It didn’t make sense, and the longer I sat and waited for her to show up, the more determined I became to find out just how much of our connection was in my imagination.

  I started to play out our conversation in my head, anticipating her responses to my questions and statements. It wasn’t easy, though, considering I didn’t know her well enough to accurately come up with what she might say. Luckily, I didn’t have to torture myself too long before she pushed through the heavy wooden door, her smile brightening her face the second she saw me.

  “Good morning, Miss Richards. I hope you slept well last night.”

  She hitched her purse higher on her shoulder and leaned against the counter that separated us. “Are you asking me as a friend or the resort manager?”

  “Would it matter?”

  “Actually, it would. If you were asking as Drew, the amazing guy I’ve spent a week getting to know, then I’d tell you the truth—which is, I didn’t sleep for shit. But that’s not what I would say to the manager. To him, I’d say, I slept the same as every other night here—like a baby.”

  I studied her features, doing my best to read between the lines. Her eyes were as blue and clear as the lagoon we’d swam in together; nothing about them even hinted at a lack of sleep. The creases along her brow were practically nonexistent, making her appear relaxed and rested, not at all the ball of stress and exhaustion she’d portrayed herself to be. And the crow’s feet extending past her lashes were prominent and deep, giving away her smile without the need to take notice of her lips.

  I came up with two possible explanations. The first was that I wasn’t the only one who felt something between us; she was just really good at hiding the effect it had on her—much like her ability to hide her tiredness. The second explanation was that this was how she acted around everyone, and I had misread it all since the very beginning. Either way, I’d get an answer before she left…if only I could recall the things I wanted to say and questions I’d thought to ask.

  That entire made-up conversation I’d had with her in my head prior to her showing up had vanished. Not a single word came to me. One smile from her, one glance into her eyes, and one word dancing from her lips were all it took to wipe my memory clean. At least I knew what it was about, though. That was the important part. I could come up with the rest on the spot.

  “That sucks. Why didn’t you sleep well? Too much on your mind?”

  Kenny dropped her gaze to her twisting fingers on the countertop and pulled her lips to the side for a second. Then she rolled her eyes, stopped fidgeting with her fingers, and huffed. When she returned her gaze to me, she shrugged and said, “Who knows. I was exhausted by the time I got into bed, but I couldn’t seem to drop off no matter how long I laid there. I thought a bath might help, so I tried that. I’d brought with me a few bath bombs, so I dug through my suitcase to find the lavender one I hadn’t used yet. Except, the entire time I was supposed to be relaxing, I couldn’t stop obsessing over whether or not I’d put everything back in the suitcase.” The more she got into the story, the faster and more dramatic her words became.

  I laughed, hoping to calm her down a bit. “That’s really good to know, Kenny.”

  She tilted her head and narrowed her gaze. “Why’s that?”

  “Well, you told me last night that you get really stressed and anxious, and to be honest, I worried that was just an excuse for not staying with me—or letting me stay with you. So hearing about your night makes me happy because now I know you weren’t making it up.”

  One corner of her mouth curled just as her cheeks glowed red. It was the most amazing thing to watch, and at the same time, it saddened me. This could very well be the last time I got to witness the kaleidoscopic effect that turned her face from ivory to peach to pink, and eventually, to Ferrari red.

  “Nope, it wasn’t an excuse, I promise. If I wasn’t interested, I would’ve said so.”

  I nodded, and without thinking, I asked, “So what was your reason for not letting me pick you up this morning?” I tried to play it cool, as if teasingly asking, even though I genuinely sought an honest answer.

  “I’m not the warmest or most talkative person when I’m on a time schedule with a checklist of things I have to make sure get done. To me, it made more sense to have someone else deal with that so you could get this version.” She took a step back and gestured to herself as if showing off an outfit. “And I doubt you’d get to enjoy this side of me after dealing with my moodiness.”

  I carefully regarded her expression as she answered, and to my relief, I couldn’t find an ounce of dishonesty. “I guess I can’t complain then. As long as you let me take you to your car.”

  “I was already counting on that, which is why I had the guy who picked me up leave my suitcase next to the door outside.”

  Since this was a walking resort—no need for vehicles—we had a private lot across from the main office where guests parked. Upon check-in, a Black Bird employee would meet them by their car in a golf cart to take them and their luggage to their cabin. And the reverse would happen upon leaving—one of the guys brought them to the front desk to check out before dropping them off at the lot with their bags. So it wasn’t out of the ordinary to assume that whoever had picked her up was waiting out front to take her to her car.

  And I couldn’t be happier that he wasn’t.

  With a slightly furrowed brow, Kenny glanced around the small room. “Are you going to be able to leave to take me? I probably should’ve asked that first before assuming you could.”

  “Yeah…” My own confusion elongated the word. “Why wouldn’t I be? After all, I’ve easily been able to find ways all week to s
pend time with you. A five-minute trip to the parking lot is no bother at all.”

  “Oh, I guess I thought someone needed to be at the front desk at all times. I mean, at least to answer phones in case someone needed something. And since I don’t see your dad anywhere, I figured you wouldn’t be able to leave it unattended.”

  I craned my neck to peer at the closed office door behind me. While I had waited for Kenny to turn in her key and sign her check-out papers, my dad had been at his desk, pounding away at the keyboard. But now, I couldn’t hear anything. A small part of me was worried—after one heart attack, it didn’t take much to cause concern—so I held up a finger to tell Kenny to hold on and took the five steps to his office. To my surprise, he wasn’t there. The sight of his empty chair calmed the slight panic, which had come out of nowhere, but it also offered quite a bit of confusion. After all, he was literally just there. I had no idea when he had left, why he had left, and—more importantly—how he was able to leave without me knowing.

  I returned to Kenny with a shrug. “He was here, but he probably stepped out for something real quick. He’ll be back soon, though. If he thought he’d be longer than a couple of minutes, he would’ve told me where he was going, and he didn’t, so I’m not worried about leaving the desk until he comes back.”

  “Didn’t you say he was always here? That this was basically where he did all his work and you took care of everything else?” Her coy grin widened when I nodded. “Then how come I’ve never seen him?”

  “I don’t know, Kenny…how many times have you come to the office?”

  “A few. He wasn’t here when I first arrived and checked in, unless your dad is slightly older than you. And I’ve come with you a couple of times, neither of which he was here.” She tapped her chin with one finger and narrowed her stare. “Be honest with me, Drew, has anyone seen him?”

  A laugh ripped through my chest and blew past my lips before I even had a chance to prepare for it. I only hoped she hadn’t noticed—or cared—about the spittle that flew out before I could cover my mouth.

  “Yes, Kenny. I haven’t made him up.”

  “I didn’t think that. I mean, he obviously had to exist at some point, right? But it’s not out of the realm of possibility that something happened to him, but your mind refuses to accept it, so you’ve convinced yourself that he’s still here when, really, you’re the one doing all the work.”

  “You have quite an imagination.”

  She raised her attention to the ceiling and pursed her lips, batting her lashes as if that had been a compliment. Technically, it wasn’t an insult, so I guess she could’ve taken it however she wanted. “I watch a lot of documentaries, and I love to read crime novels—both fiction and nonfiction.”

  I laughed to myself as I grabbed her check-out packet from the printer. “Well, I can assure you that my dad is very much alive. Although, that would actually make for a really good book or movie, especially with this place being so isolated in the middle of the woods.”

  It was a good thing this conversation hadn’t come up earlier. It could’ve very well changed the outcome of our time together. It wasn’t like there was any truth to the idea, but the idea alone was enough to create the level of fear that would cause most people to run in the opposite direction.

  I took the key from the countertop where she’d set it down and replaced it with a piece of paper and a pen. “This is just to say that you have turned in the key, and that if any damage is found upon cleaning your cabin, you will be notified prior to your card being charged.”

  Once Kenny signed on the line at the bottom, I took the pen and scribbled my signature below hers. This was the last step before taking her to her car. I wanted to keep her longer, but like I’d learned this entire week, I couldn’t do that. Not to mention, she had a long drive ahead of her, and if she got as little sleep as she said, then she would need all the time and focus she could get. Staying here to make me feel better wouldn’t help her in any way.

  All I had left to do was make her a copy of the exit agreement and add it to the packet that was given to every guest when they left. It was arguably the biggest waste of money, but my dad refused to do away with it. He assumed if they left with brochures about the place they had just stayed at and all the things to do in the area—and for some reason, local coupons—it would increase our chances of return customers.

  He refused to spend more money on advertising, yet somehow, he thought a bon voyage package made sense. This would be one of the things I’d bring up when I sat him down to discuss Kenny’s suggestion of rebranding the place.

  “I guess this is it…” She unhurriedly walked backward toward the door, never taking her eyes off me.

  “Yeah, I guess it is.” I moved around the desk, though not as slowly as I wanted.

  I felt like an idiot taking so long to get her suitcase and duffel bag loaded onto the golf cart, but I knew we were only minutes from her driving away. There was also the conversation I’d wanted to have with her, which would give us a bit more time, but not much. And the closer we came to discussing what we both wanted from this, the more nervous I got. It made no sense, though, because if she told me it had all been in my head, I never had to see her again. So I didn’t understand where my nerves came from.

  I pulled up behind the car she pointed to and turned to face her, keeping her from getting out of the cart. “So, I have a proposal to make.”

  She blinked dramatically, mouth hanging open as if unhinged. “Don’t you think we should at least meet each other’s parents first? I mean, we haven’t even said the L word. Doesn’t this seem a little fast?”

  As soon as her smile curled her lips, I realized that it was only a joke. And within a couple of seconds, our laughter echoed around us. It was honestly the happiest sound I’d ever heard. Not simply the most beautiful or the most comforting…it was the epitome of true happiness.

  “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Kenny. You have to give me a chance to at least chase you down the road after you leave and beg you to stay, all while coincidentally having a flawless diamond ring in my pocket that fits your finger perfectly. All before the credits start to roll, of course.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “But really, I was thinking all night and this morning about the things you’ve suggested we do to the resort. So how do you feel about coming back to help me with the marketing?”

  “I don’t know shit about marketing, Drew. I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

  At least it wasn’t a no. “Can’t we figure it out together?”

  She hesitated for a moment, her eyes darkening with whatever war she battled in her head. Finally, she shook her head and said, “As fun as that sounds, I don’t have a clue as to when I’d be able to get back here. I have school starting next month, and my mom needs me at home. Maybe we can brainstorm over the phone?”

  I’d told myself going into this morning that I would take what I could get. And if phone calls were all she could offer, then I would happily accept them. “Yeah, we could do that. But just so we’re clear…coming back is still on the table, you’re just not sure when. Right?”

  Her smile calmed my soul in ways I never thought possible. “Never say never, Drew.”

  Short of asking about her exact feelings for me, I assumed that was the closest I’d get to understanding what lay ahead of us after this. And while I could’ve been mistaken, I didn’t think I was. Based on her actions—and reactions—and the things she’d said since last night, I assumed that I, alone, had hoped for more. That was okay, though. I knew going into today that this was how it might end.

  I got out and moved around to the back of the cart to grab her luggage. Without either of us uttering a word, I pulled her bags from the cart and helped her put them in the trunk of her car. A suffocating cloud of awkwardness swarmed us. For all the odd times we’d shared, not once had it felt this uncomfortable. Part of me just wanted to say bye to escape it, but the larger part wanted to send her off on a good no
te.

  “Well, I wrote my number on the back of your check-out agreement, and the number for the resort is printed on the front. So if you want to get ahold of me, you have every way imaginable.”

  Kenny gently cradled my cheek and sighed. “I wish things were different.”

  “What do you mean? Why?”

  “I really like you, Drew…”

  My head spun, my heart jumped, and my stomach did somersaults as I waited for her to continue.

  “This week has been amazing. You have been amazing. And as much as I want to see where things could go, or discover what we have together, our commitments and obligations won’t allow us. I don’t want you to think that I’m not interested, because I am. I’m also realistic, and I knew that this wouldn’t last. It couldn’t last.”

  I pressed my lips to her forehead and held the careful kiss for a moment. “I understand, Kenny. As much as I don’t want to admit it, you’re right. But can you do me one favor? If things change at home, could you at least consider coming back? There’s no telling when that’ll be or where we will even be in our lives, so I’m not expecting anything. I just want to know that, if given the chance, you would contemplate another vacation at Black Bird Resort.”

  She nestled her face in my neck and gently wrapped her arms around my waist. “I can promise you that, Drew. In fact, you didn’t even need to ask.”

  The strangest feeling came over me. At the exact moment I should’ve been experiencing dread, I was filled with burning hope. A sense of faraway happiness, as if somewhere in my future, everything worked out as it was meant to. It was calming and probably the only thing that could’ve kept me from losing my mind in that moment.

  I didn’t want to let her go, but I had to.

  And I had to hold onto the hope and faith that this wasn’t the end of our story.

  There was still so much left to write.