Beautiful Boy Read online

  Beautiful Boy: A silhouette in a window.

  As I typed out my snarky remark about him turning into a peeping Tom, another text came in, forcing me to stop writing and read.

  Beautiful Boy: Your front door.

  My heart stopped. Time stopped. Everything stood completely still as I read and reread his text. My front door? Did he mean…?

  And then my doorbell rang.

  I jumped off my bed faster than I’d thrown myself onto it and ran for the door. I flung it open without once checking to see who stood outside. But I didn’t need to, because I knew exactly who it was. My quickened pulse could’ve only been caused by one person…and he now stood in front of me for the first time in five torturously long days.

  Twenty-Three

  My arms went around his neck on instinct. The moment he pulled me against him by my waist, I climbed his body like a monkey in a tree, locking my ankles behind his back. Not once did I think about the reasons for his absence or why I hadn’t seen him in days, because all I could concentrate on was the fact he now stood in front of me.

  Nolan stepped inside and kicked the door closed behind him. Then he pivoted in a semi-circle until he had my back pressed against the wall. I buried my face in his neck while his lips feathered kisses along the side of my head, instantly easing the ache in my chest.

  It wasn’t until he whispered in my ear and told me to calm down before I realized I’d been crying. I hadn’t noticed the sobs racking my body or the tears wetting my face. The hiccups jolting my shoulders never once registered to me while I remained tightly in his comforting embrace.

  When I finally managed to pull myself together enough, I lifted my head to see his eyes. The last time I’d looked into them, they were stormy, so full of turmoil I couldn’t see their true color. But now…now they shined with the emotions I’d longed to witness for days.

  So green.

  So bright.

  So full of love.

  “What are you doing here?” My question was soundless, nothing but air squeaking past the knot in my throat. The sound only proved the desperation I harbored inside.

  “I have so much to tell you. But let me start by saying I’m in love with you. I’m so fucking in love with you, and I believe I always have been. From the very first time I ever laid eyes on you, you’ve owned my heart and soul. You saved me when I couldn’t save myself. You saw me when I thought of myself as invisible. You found value in me when I felt worthless. When I didn’t have the strength to believe in myself, you did, and you saw the promise in me when I couldn’t. Anytime I’ve ever needed you, you were always there.”

  I unhooked my legs from around his waist and slid down his body. Mayhem began to take hold of my mind, but instead of succumbing to it, I held his face in my hands and stared deeply into his eyes. The softness of them calmed the storm and eased the pressure in my chest caused by his words.

  “Nolan… Please, stop giving me all this credit.”

  “That’s never going to happen. This past week has opened my eyes to many things…but none of it would’ve ever happened without you. If you had never gotten me to where I was, or took off my training wheels, I more than likely never would’ve seen any of it. So I give credit where it’s due; however, I have been able to admit that I, too, am responsible for standing on my own two feet. But it doesn’t change the fact I never would’ve been able to do this without you. You’ve opened my eyes, whether you want to admit it or not.”

  I wanted to know everything, yet I had no idea where to begin the inquisition. I hadn’t spoken to him much this week, and anytime I had heard from him, it hadn’t involved any of this.

  “It’s been five days, Nolan. I don’t mean to sound pessimistic, but I saw you on Sunday. I heard the things you said. How exactly do you expect me to believe you’ve overcome such deeply rooted issues in five days?”

  “When it comes to hurdles, sometimes it’s not about how fast you run, but about how high you jump. You offered me a decent head start, gave me the push I needed. All I had to do was plant my feet on the ground and rise above it.”

  My gaze traveled to his lips. The way they remained steadily parted told me how serious he was. He truly believed what he said, and not even the smallest part of me could find doubt in it.

  Kiss me.

  He must’ve read my mind, or my desires became evident in my expression, because he leaned forward and took my lips with his in the most passionate kiss I’d ever experienced.

  It wasn’t harsh or punishing, but light and soft, almost hesitant to begin with. Like a first kiss. The way his mouth slowly formed over mine—so carefully as if he worried I’d break—left my head reeling. I let him set the pace while I followed his lead. But truth be told, I wouldn’t have been able to assert myself even if I wanted to. I’d grown too lost in his presence, in his touch, in the way his heat enveloped me like a fire on a cool night.

  “I want you,” I whispered once our lips separated.

  The airiness of my voice proved how winded he made me. And the scratchiness solidified the lust weaving through my system like a vine, choking the life out of any rational thought.

  I cleared my throat and tried again. “I want you to tell me everything.”

  “I will, but first…” He took me by the hand and led me to my bedroom. My heart raced with every step we took, growing harsher the closer we came to my room.

  Once we made it to the doorway, it seemed as though no breathable air remained in the entire house. The anticipation suffocated me, and I worried he’d misinterpret it as apprehension.

  Nolan led me in and closed the door gently behind him. His eyes locked on mine, but it didn’t prevent me from catching the way his chest heaved with every breath he took, mirroring my own desperate attempts at filling my lungs with oxygen. He held my hips and then slowly walked me backward until the backs of my knees hit the edge of the mattress. Although, he didn’t push me to sit. Instead, he stood in front of me while his gaze traveled down the length of my body, leaving behind a trail of warmth, covering my skin in a blazing inferno.

  The tips of his fingers skimmed over the front of my shirt from my lower abdomen to my collarbone, causing my nipples to harden beneath my bra. One slight touch from him elicited so many things deep inside me, all of which poured from me in the form of gooseflesh covering my body.

  His fingers made their way up my neck to my face, barely touching my skin as his gaze met mine again. The way he stared at me caused a knot to form in my stomach, growing larger the longer he dragged this out. Not one sound was made between us as he stood in front of me, outlining my features with his fingertips as if sketching me to memory.

  I thought he’d kiss me.

  I thought he’d pick up the pace.

  Yet he never did.

  Instead, he began to undress me with steady, purposeful movements. Slowly. Acting as if we were in no hurry, had no time restraints. Time meant nothing to him as he carefully disrobed me one piece of clothing at a time, his eyes never leaving mine.

  Once I stood completely naked in front of him, he placed his burning hands back on my hips and gently pushed me onto the mattress. Then he leaned into me—not to kiss me, but to force me back until I pulled my legs onto the bed and reclined by propping myself up on my elbows.

  Nolan stood up straight between my legs—again, never taking his eyes off me—and began to undress himself. Once his shirt was removed, I sat forward and started to unfasten his belt. I thought he’d push me away, but he didn’t. He laced his fingers through my hair as I dropped his pants to his ankles, and then I did the same with his boxer-briefs.

  I licked my lips as his erection sprang free in front of me. However, before I could wrap my fingers around his shaft and swoop in to taste him, he used his grip in my hair to push me away.

  None of this was familiar to me. Not with him or with anyone else. Considering the few times we’d been together sexually, his rejection caught me off guard. So I did the only thing I coul
d. I leaned back on my elbows again, planted my heels onto the mattress, and spread my legs open on either side of him.

  The rest was up to him.

  I left the ball in his court.

  I knew of his issues regarding intimacy, so I expected him to take charge as he had done before. I anticipated him flipping me over, forcing me onto my knees, and positioning my body so he could enter me where he stood.

  But that’s not what happened.

  Instead of doing any of those things I’d predicted, he turned around and sat on the edge of the bed between my legs. The only thing I had to focus on was his broad back and the way his muscles flexed beneath his skin.

  Shock prevented me from moving for a split second before I snapped out of it and pulled myself to him. If this was his moment of hesitation, I wanted to soothe and comfort him, offer him my support. However, I learned very quickly I had been wrong in my assumption.

  Nolan bent forward to take off his shoes. And with my hands firmly on his biceps, he worked at removing his prosthetic. No matter how hard I tried to suppress my gasp, it didn’t work. It rang out between us, bouncing off the walls and shrouding me with the audible disbelief that held me hostage.

  With his leg off and the protective sock thrown to the floor, he twisted around to face me. He leaned into me with his hands pressed into the mattress on either side of my body, causing me to lie flat on my back.

  Like a predator going after prey, he crawled over me, and with each move forward, I scooted back, closer to the head of the bed. Every time I shifted, he followed.

  Silence filled the room.

  The heat of his stare burned deeply into me.

  The thrumming of my heart sped up to dangerous levels, and at the same time it threatened to stop altogether.

  Nolan didn’t just hover over me…he surrounded me, consumed me, possessed me. In that moment, there wasn’t a single thing I wouldn’t have done for him. It should’ve worried me, but it didn’t. Nothing about him left me with any apprehension, any fear. I had nothing but complete trust in him, and a yearning to experience everything right along with him.

  Everything.

  Because I knew this was a huge step for him—for us. This was his way of proving to me he could move forward. That he had taken steps to regain his life again…possibly more than steps.

  Leaps.

  Bounds.

  “Nolan…” I whispered, the warm air around us too much to take. My skin prickled and my mouth grew dry. I needed something to happen before the anticipation caused me to take matters into my own hands. And this was his moment—I couldn’t take it from him.

  “Shhh.” His lips settled against my neck as his body pressed against mine, the heat from his chest driving into me. “I don’t want to talk right now. The only thing I want to do is make love to you the way you deserve.”

  I sucked in a breath and held it.

  He lifted his head and brushed my nose with the tip of his as his eyes captured mine. “I want to show you what you’ve done for me. You deserve to be loved this way, to be shown how much you’re cherished. I want to be the man who can give that to you. I want to be the man who deserves you.”

  My fingertips grazed the skin on his back until my hands curled around his shoulders, holding him to me. “It’s not about deserving me…it’s about being made for me. It’s about being right for me.”

  He dipped his hips, which slid his erection along my folds, sending a jolt of pleasure up my spine. My body reacted as if it was the first time I’d ever been stimulated. A moan slipped past my lips and my fingernails dug into his shoulder blades.

  Thrust after thrust, the silky underside of his shaft abraded over my clit. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I lifted my hips, hoping he’d finally give in and enter me. But he didn’t. Instead, he held my lower body down with one hand and continued to assault my nerves until the familiar kindles of a fire burned deep in my stomach.

  “Come apart for me, Novah. I want to see it. I need to see you come, hear you call out my name.” His voice was desperate, airy, yet he didn’t sound out of breath in the least.

  I, on the other hand, couldn’t seem to get enough air in my lungs as the prelude to my orgasm spiked and held me hostage.

  A deep, desperate moan rumbled through me. At the sound of that, Nolan sped up, rocking against me. My eyes instantly closed, giving way to the white light exploding behind my lids.

  I cried out his name. Before it finished falling from my lips, he pulled back and slammed into me, which jolted me and forced my eyes to open wide. I found his gaze locked on me, his forehead creased and his nostrils flaring.

  His body stilled as soon as he was fully inside me, and that’s when I noticed his shaky arms. I ran my fingers over his biceps, hoping to soothe whatever caused the trembling in his body.

  “Touch me, Novah,” he whispered with the tip of his nose grazing mine. “Everywhere. I want to feel your hands on me. I want your eyes on me.”

  I complied and toured his body blindly with my hands while my gaze remained fixated on his face. The need to say something became unbearable, yet coherent thoughts refused to form. So I said the only thing that automatically came to me. “I love you.”

  At my words, Nolan began to move inside me. His thrusts started off long and slow, deep and methodical. But the more I touched him, the more I picked up his rhythm, the faster and more erratic his hips rolled. We made love in tandem, working together, becoming one with every push, every pull, every sweep of our tongues against the other’s.

  With each thrust, his pubic bone pressed into my clit. I held onto him tightly with everything I had. My core gripped him, my arms wrapped around his neck, my legs locked around his waist. I couldn’t seem to get him close enough, hug him tight enough to me.

  The harder I gripped him, the more he seemed to lose control. His breaths fanned over my face in waves, covering me with heat that filtered through my entire body until it left me feeling like I’d been locked in an inferno.

  “I love you,” he whispered before burying his face into my neck. His fiery lips grazed the skin below my ear. “I love you so fucking much.”

  With his arms locked around me and his head hidden in the crook of my shoulder, his entire body covered mine, touching every part of me.

  The closeness sparked a fire.

  His breath on my skin lit the fuse.

  And the way he pushed inside me, reaching parts I’d never experienced before, added the fuel needed to transform the burning embers into raging flames, licking its way up my spine.

  I exploded and screamed his name. Except it came out throaty, scratchy, deep and desperate. It probably didn’t matter, because I’m sure he couldn’t hear me over his own chanting.

  “Novah…Novah…Novah,” he repeated and groaned against my shoulder. His hips jerked and convulsed, his movements were wild and frantic. “Fuck, Novah.”

  As if he hadn’t been close enough, I pulled him even closer until he collapsed on top of me, both of us panting wildly.

  Nolan eventually rolled to the side, and even though I appreciated being able to breathe again without his weight suffocating me, I immediately missed his warmth. Yet he didn’t make me suffer the chill of his absence long. As soon as he settled into the bed next to me, he tucked me against his side, maneuvering me until my head rested comfortably on his chest.

  We’d laid like this once before, less than a week earlier. The difference, though, was the last time we were clothed and not worn out due to sexual exertion. I wrapped my arm around his torso and relaxed into him, the rapid beats of his heart playing as our own personal soundtrack.

  “I won’t lie…that was a little unexpected. Fucking amazing, yet it came completely out of nowhere. When I woke up this morning, I had expected a very different ending to my night.”

  He chuckled quietly, causing my head to shake on his chest as the sound rumbled through him. “I wanted to wait until tomorrow to see you, but I couldn’t. Hell, I wanted to
come see you on Tuesday night. Staying away was pure torture. I wasn’t sure I’d make it to the end of the week.”

  I lifted my head, resting my chin on his chest so I could look him in the eyes as we talked. As much as I loved hearing the deep timbre of his voice reverberate through his body beneath my ear, nothing was better than witnessing the contentment on his face.

  “Why did you wait?” My brow grew taut as my gaze narrowed on his face. “When I…when I walked away Sunday night, it wasn’t for good. I wasn’t leaving you.”

  He pressed the rough pad of his thumb over my lips, preventing me from saying anything else. “I know that now. At the time, I didn’t know what to think other than you had left me. But I get it now. And you were right for what you did. You walking away meant I had to do things on my own. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was exactly what I needed.” He ran his fingers through my hair as he spoke to me.

  “So…are you going to tell me what happened?”

  His fingers continued combing through my hair as he put his other arm behind his head, propping himself up enough to watch me. I couldn’t remember ever seeing him look so comfortable before.

  “My father had a banquet dinner Tuesday night in Tampa…kind of a celebration of sorts before he announced his candidacy for President.”

  A gasp slipped past my lips. I hadn’t heard anything about his father running for office again, and I wondered why he hadn’t told me.

  “I only recently found out about it,” he explained, as if reading my mind. “He told me about it Saturday morning when he met me for breakfast.”

  “I saw you Saturday night…I stayed at your house. We were together all day Sunday. Why didn’t you tell me about it?” I sounded pathetic even to my own ears. I only hoped he didn’t pick up on it.

  He shrugged. “By the time you got to my place, I didn’t want to discuss my father.” His hand stilled in my hair as he sighed loudly and stared up at the ceiling. “You were right.”