A Crowe's Song Page 30

  I glanced down at her bare foot where it rested in my lap and quickly let up on my unintentional tight grip. “Nah, that’s not it—although I do have concerns about the opening, but none you aren’t aware of.”

  “You’re still worried about that?”

  I rolled my eyes at her and shook my head with exasperation. We’d spoken about this a dozen times; she knew it still bothered me. “Of course I am, Kenny. We’re about to have a bunch of addicts coming to stay here. In the woods. Where my wife and child are. I’m pretty sure most men would have an issue with that.”

  It’d only taken two months of Kenny staying with me for her to wind up pregnant. Turns out, the birth control that she’d had so much confidence in wasn’t as good as she thought. Either that or my guys were better. Regardless, we welcomed our son into the world one year ago today. He’d held on long enough for his mother and me to watch the fireworks, and as soon as it was over, he’d demanded to be born. That was the moment I learned what true fear was. It was when I discovered a whole new love, and the undeniable need to protect my family. Which was why this had been such a back-and-forth argument with Kenny.

  “Stop acting like they’re all violent criminals.”

  I should’ve let it go, but the words came out before I could stop them. “What else am I supposed to think? Your grandfather wasn’t the best example of a recovering addict, was he?”

  Kenny was quiet for a moment, like I knew she would be. Ever since becoming a mom, she’d take a moment before defending herself. The problem with that was it offered her time to properly organize her argument. Which meant game over—she was the queen of valid reasoning.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean that,” I apologized, hoping to spare myself a tongue-lashing.

  Even though it would’ve been deserved.

  I knew she believed that her grandfather’s addiction was his way of either numbing or punishing himself for the thing he regretted most, and I also knew how badly she wanted to help those suffering from similar pain. She desperately wanted to give those who struggled with this illness a chance to release their demons so they wouldn’t have to carry them around until their dying breath like her grandfather had.

  “Sensibly, I know not everyone is like him or has done the types of things he’s done. It's just easy to forget sometimes, but I promise, I’m trying to be more aware.”

  “Good, you need to be. How do you think it’d look if the owner of a rehab facility thinks all addicts are murderers or hardened criminals?”

  I fought the bubble of laughter that had worked its way into my chest. It wasn’t funny, but there was just something about the way she said it that humored me. And I knew that if I laughed, it would only upset her more. “I get it, and I’m sorry. You know that’s not how I really feel. If so, I wouldn’t allow them to come here, would I?”

  “I hate it when you say things like that…allow. We are giving them an opportunity to have a better life, which is something I feel everyone deserves. So I don’t like it when you act like you get to decide if they get that chance or not.”

  I knew better than to start this up again. The last thing I wanted was to fight with her, but it seemed that was exactly what she wanted to do with me. “Obviously that’s not what I think; I’m not shutting it down, nor have I tried. I know how much this recovery refuge center means to you, which is why I’ve only complained. If I wanted to, I’d have no problem putting an end to this whole thing. I haven’t done that, so there’s no need to try to convince me to be okay with it.”

  Truth be told, I could never put an end to this rehab facility of hers. I knew how much it meant to her. What I would do, though, would be to move us away from the center. That was what bothered me the most—being in the woods with a bunch of people whose demons made it extremely difficult to make good choices.

  Kenny dropped her chin and kissed the top of our son’s head. She always smelled his blond hair while she was at it. It was something she didn’t think anyone noticed, but I did. Because I always did the same thing. There was something comforting about his scent that calmed the world around me. It was a trait he’d inherited from his mother.

  “I’m sorry, Drew, I didn’t mean to say it like that. I don’t want to pick a fight with you; I just wish you’d quit worrying. You were completely on board with the idea initially, so I guess I was hoping you’d come back around. That’s all. But let’s not let it ruin our night. The finale is about to start.” She turned her attention back to the sky and waited for the best part about the show.

  In my opinion, being with her was the best part.

  But she wasn’t wrong. I had been on board with it at first. Except that was before she was pregnant—or before we knew that she was carrying my child. After that, everything changed. It was a slow process from being a hundred and ten percent supportive to the state of hesitancy I’d been suffering for the last year. Knowing a baby was on the way felt entirely different from how it was when he actually arrived. Kenny disagreed with me, but she was also the one who’d grown him in her belly. I didn’t have the same attachment, simply because she had been literally attached to him for nine months.

  Once my dad learned the truth about what really happened to his dad and family, it was as if a door had slammed shut. No longer did we need to keep a safehouse for them. In a way, they did return, only it was their souls that came and stayed. So with the resort’s purpose complete, we’d both decided it was time to do something completely out of the box with the place.

  We’d tossed around ideas of how to make it busier and regularly book more guests, but at the end of the day, I think my dad was just over it. He’d spent his entire life here, living someone else’s mission. It was time for him to live for himself. So he basically left the future of Black Bird in Kenny’s and my hands. It didn’t take long before the idea of rehabilitation was mentioned. She continued to take online classes to become a counselor, but in the meantime, she really wanted to do something that would further her purpose. And I was thrilled to be the one to help turn her dream into a reality.

  That was when A Crowe’s Song was born.

  Kenny had picked the name. She said that when she first heard it in the main house, it’d given her chills—the good kind, apparently. Her connection made sense, too, so I didn’t argue. I thought it was the perfect name for a recovery center.

  As she put it…crows were protective, and they fought for their own. She wanted a place where addicts who wanted help could come and feel safe, a place where they wouldn’t have to fight the battle alone. As for their song, she said it was the siren that would lead them here.

  And it was.

  We opened in less than a week, and we were already booked solid. All eighteen beds were taken. The other two cabins would house our resident therapists when on call, and my dad’s old house was renovated into an on-site medical center and pharmacy. It had all been part of Kenny’s vision. I just followed her direction and made it happen.

  All the other names of the buildings remained—The Birdfeeder was now the mess hall where everyone would eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The Birdhouse would serve as the area where guests—yes, guests…Kenny didn’t want them referred to as anything else—would participate in group therapy. The Crowe’s Nest remained the same, the main office where Kenny and I would work. It was also where we would handle the intake forms and schedule the initial assessment to ensure the program was a good fit. And obviously, the lagoon was still the Birdbath.

  A loud boom and bright white light startled me out of my thoughts, loudly reminding me of where I was and why. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one it surprised—our baby jumped, too. Except I didn’t cry like he did.

  Kenny tried to soothe him with soft shushes and light pats on his back, but it wasn’t working. With every boom, he cried harder, so I reached out to take him from her. He always seemed to calm down in my arms. He must’ve instinctively known that I would protect him with my life.

  “Oh, I
almost forgot to tell you…your dad called right before we left the house to come out here.” Kenny stretched her arms over her head, probably trying to get the blood circulating again. Holding a sleeping baby used a lot more muscle power than I would’ve ever guessed. “He said Lisa has a late meeting tomorrow, so they might get here a little late. I told him that was fine; we’d wait for them before eating dinner.”

  As soon as my dad didn’t have the resort to worry about anymore, it didn’t take him long to find someone to share his time with. He’d met Lisa at the local clinic in town. It was the weekend, he’d had a bad cough that wouldn’t let up, and she was the nurse on duty. Lisa was amazing. She made him smile brighter than I’d ever seen, and his laugh…I couldn’t recall a time when I had ever heard him laugh that loudly.

  “What about your mom?” I asked, wrapping my arms tightly around my son.

  “She’ll be here around four to help with dinner preparations.”

  Rebekah had moved to town—not on the land, but in town—shortly after learning that Kenny was pregnant. She didn’t want to be away from her daughter or grandson, so she packed her things and came here. It was nice that Kenny was able to have her mom so close. As for my mom, I still hadn’t heard from her since my high school graduation. I think it bothered Kenny more than it bothered me. Rebekah had adopted me as one of her own, so I didn’t need anyone else. Our family was small, but the love we produced was bigger than anything I’d ever experienced.

  “You look tired. Are you about ready to go?”

  She finished her yawn and then dropped her hand to her lap. “I don’t want to miss the finale, though.”

  “Yeah, I know, but it’s only going to upset him more. Plus, you’re cooking another human; you need the rest.” We had found out this morning that she was expecting again.

  She really needed to find a different kind of birth control.

  “You’re right.” She pushed herself onto her feet and then stood with her arms out. “Here, I’ll take him.”

  After the handoff, I got up and followed my insanely sexy wife to the golf cart just up the hill from the dock. But before she could take a seat in the front, the finale began to pop in the distance, its colors bright and visible even from beneath the trees.

  I kissed my son’s temple and whispered into his ear, “I love you, Andrew.” Then I drew circles on Kenny’s belly with the tip of my finger and said, “I love you, too, little one.” Then I held Kenny by the back of her head and pressed my lips to hers with such desperation. Even though we’d been together nearly two years, I still couldn’t believe she was mine. Every day felt like the first day all over again. “And I really, really love you, Mrs. Wheeler.”

  “Yeah? Well, that’s good to hear, because I am beyond in love with you, Mr. Wheeler.”

  Andrew chose that time to cry, reminding us that we were meant to head home.

  Leddy’s Notes

  This is going to get personal, so please bear with me…

  I started writing A Crowe’s Song (the title had changed several times) four years ago. There’s even an interview from early 2017 where I was asked about what I was working on, and I talked about this book. But after losing over ten thousand words (and I couldn’t get them back or rewrite them), I beat the crap out of my laptop and decided to work on something different. I needed a change in scenery, so to speak. I had even told a friend “I feel like God is telling me to put this away and work on this other idea.” That other idea, you ask? I Do(n’t). So of course, the fact that my “other idea” broke Amazon’s top 20 and hung out in the top 50 for about a month only confirmed my previous “God wants me to” belief. I still believe that to this day. Except, I know now that it had nothing to do with I Do(n’t) or any other book. There was a very different reason this story had to wait to be told.

  If you’re reading this, I can assume you’ve already read the book. And if so, then you know that it’s all about soulmates. Well, at the time I had originally started this book, I didn’t believe in soulmates. I believed there were people more suited for each other, but not that we all have one person who completes our soul (that probably should’ve been a red flag, but I digress). However, over the last four years, I had some success, went through a divorce, lost two of my best friends, did a whole lot of work on myself…and found the love of my life. He taught me what a soulmate was, not by telling me, but by showing me.

  I wasn’t meant to write this story without understanding what it feels like to meet the other half of your soul. So yes, I believe fate had stepped in four years ago and made me put this one to the side, knowing that there was a much bigger plan for me, for both my book and my personal life.

  So really, I couldn’t have written this book without you, Kev. I love the marrow of you.

  Thank You…

  Before I get into thanking everyone who had a part to play in this journey, I need to mention my family. My girls, you three are my whole world; you make me strive to be my best self. And Mimi, your unwavering support keeps me going. I love you.

  Now, onto everyone else…

  Kev: I’ll never forget the first time you told me that you’re proud of me, and the unimaginable happiness I felt at hearing those words. I’ve heard them before from other people, but it had never had the same impact. Your loud faith in me and my writing has given me more confidence than you’ll ever know. And I say “loud” faith because, baby, you are very vocal about how much you believe in me. I’ve never experienced that type of support before, and I can’t ever thank you enough. I love you so much.

  Marlo: I honestly couldn’t have done this without you. I feel like you’ve held my hand through it all (four years is a long time to hold hands lol). You believed in this story from day one. You even tried many many times to get me to pick it back up, and I told you hell no every single time. And I know you think I told you no but as soon as Kev said it, I jumped at it, but that’s not it at all. I truly do believe that it just wasn’t the right time. And now that you’ve finally read the end of their story, I hope you agree. I love you, Lobs. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met in my life, and I’m a better person for having you in it.

  Crystal: You’re probably wondering why I’ve included you in this one. The truth is, I don’t think I can publish a book without mentioning you, whether you had any part in it or not. You were there before Leddy Harper, reading my (very horribly written) love stories and supporting my hobby. To you, I’m just Best Friend. Always have been, and I know I always will be. You’ve got to be the most supportive person I know, and I love you to death for that.

  Amanda: New plan…we win the lotto and live out our days on a private island doing whatever the crap we want to. This way, neither of us will have to work. Just as long as we have air conditioning. And SPF 100. I’ll need those two things. Unless our private island is in a cold area, in which case, I’ll need heat. And a fireplace. And fuzzy socks. You in?

  Sarah: I know that we’ve both gotten busy and we don’t talk as much, but that doesn’t mean I need you any less. In fact, I think I need you more now than ever before. I’m trying to do this on my own…and I’m pretty sure I fail more than succeed, but hey, what can I say, we all can’t be Sarah. Team Harpickles!

  Lisa: Who’s the patron saint of Amazon? Whoever he is, I need to thank him for bringing you into my life. I know you say how grateful you are to have me in your corner, but that’s a two-way street, my friend. I’m very grateful that you offered to review for me, without that, I wouldn’t have met such an amazing person. Oh, and thank you so much for being my one and only beta reader lol!

  Stephie: You were there at the beginning of this book. I worked through this incredibly complicated plot with you, and when I lost all those words, you were the one I called to cry to. You listened to me bitch and freak out, and then supported (reluctantly) my decision to set this one aside. And while I fully understand the purpose of your entrance and exit from my life, it doesn’t mean there aren’t days I mis
s that relationship. But I’ve accepted that it’s over, and that’s just something I have to be okay with. I think this book was my final tie to you, and now that it’s finished, I can finally put it behind me.

  Ana Rita: You’ll never know how much it meant to me that you still remembered the prologue after four years. Honestly, the fact that you asked about it for years after reading it is what convinced me to give it another go. Your excitement over it made me believe that it was worth finishing. Thank you so much for that!

  Emily: Girl, I can’t do this without you. I’ve had you by my side for seven years and twenty-two books (probably more than that if you count anthologies), and now I have to do this without you. I wasn’t ready to have the umbilical cord cut quite yet! I wasn’t ready to leave the nest so soon! But I can say that doing this myself really proves how much work you did for me. I’ve always been grateful for you, but even more so now. I miss you!

  Robin: You absolutely nailed this cover. I’m pretty sure it’s my favorite thus far. You’re never allowed to quit designing covers…I would never survive losing Emily and you.

  Saya: You are an answered prayer! I can’t thank you enough for coming through at the last second to run an extra set of eyes over my words. You saved my sanity.

  Girls at Grey’s Promo: Thank you so much for taking me on for this book. Having your help makes everything a lot easier. You guys rock!

  Bloggers: I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, you guys truly are the unsung heroes behind us all. I honestly believe none of us would be able to live our dreams without the support of each and every one of you. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

  And finally, to my readers: Whether this is the first Leddy Harper book you’ve picked up, if you’ve been with me from the beginning, or if you’re somewhere in between, I can’t thank you enough for giving me a chance. I value every opinion that’s given, good or bad, and it’s because of you that I strive to better my work. It’s because of you I continue to write. And it’s because of you I get to do what I love. I literally couldn’t do this without you.