Throne Away Read online

  “You don’t know that. It could be just as bright and just as prosperous under someone else’s reign.” A recycled idea came back to me, and even though I knew she would never go for it, I decided to give it a shot anyway. “Why don’t you take it?”

  Libby reared her head back and gaped at me as if I had two heads. “Take what?”

  “Don’t pretend to be daft; it’s unbecoming on you.”

  She took a deep breath before continuing. “You might be able to pull the wool over everyone else’s eyes, but you can’t do that with me. Don’t forget, Mo, I have been with you most every day, going through proposed policies and prospective rulings. I have heard your ideas, so you can’t fool me. We both know that you were made for this.”

  I laughed, even though I found nothing about this funny. “You can’t see it, can you? Libby, you are the one who was made for the crown. Ever since you were born, you have been called the Islanders’ Princess. I couldn’t have come up with a tenth of those ideas if it weren’t for you.”

  “I haven’t given you any suggestions, so you can’t give me any credit. It’s all yours.”

  “Just because you didn’t come up with them doesn’t mean you didn’t inspire them.” I grabbed both of her hands, needing her to hear me out. “You know this island better than anyone. You know its people better than they know themselves. If anyone can speak for them, act for them, do right by them…it is you.”

  The longer she took to respond, the more hopeful I became. Until she dropped her attention to the comforter and shook her head. “I can’t, Moira. It’s your birthright, not mine. Not to mention, even if I did want it, we both know that your parents would never hand it over.”

  “They will if they don’t have a choice.”

  She held my stare for so long that I wondered how her eyes hadn’t dried out. “The King and Queen always have a choice. It’s you who doesn’t.”

  No truer words had ever been spoken.

  I was the one who didn’t have a choice.

  Chapter 14

  Ryan

  The harsh thuds grew louder, though I couldn’t figure out where they were coming from.

  “Don’t worry, Ryan, I’ll get it,” Mandy grumbled, completely pulling me out of a dream I’d felt stuck in.

  I opened my eyes, catching the sight of Mandy wrapping a robe around her and shuffling her feet across the room. That’s when the thuds made sense—someone was knocking rather impatiently on the door. I wondered how long they’d been there, and how long I’d managed to sleep through the heavy pounding.

  In my defense, I’d had a lot to drink last night. Despite my obsessive-like efforts, I hadn’t been able to reach Moira, so after Amara went to bed, I raided the liquor cabinet. I’d told Mandy as much as I could about what had taken place and where I was mentally, but with as lost as I felt, I’d left a lot out. Thankfully, she hadn’t pushed me to talk about it more than I was comfortable with.

  When Mandy came back to the living room, I sat up and wiped the sleep from my face. “Who was that?” I asked in the middle of a half-assed yawn.

  She moved slowly, too focused on the folder she held open in her hand.

  The confusion on her face was enough to fully wake me up. “What’s that?”

  “Plane tickets.” She came around the sofa and took a seat on the recliner before handing me the folder. “The guy at the door said they got it all set up for us, and that they’ve arranged for a car to take us to the airport.”

  I was about to praise the chateau for their generosity, but I stopped when I noted the date on the tickets. Confused and concerned, I said, “These are for today. We don’t leave until tomorrow.”

  “Why would they give us tickets for the wrong day?”

  My gut told me why, but I refused to believe it until someone could confirm my fear. I set the folder on the coffee table and headed to the bathroom to get dressed. “I don’t know, but I’ll go down to the front desk and see if they know anything about it.”

  Mandy stayed upstairs with Amara, agreeing to wait for me before heading down for breakfast. She didn’t need to deal with the drama, considering it was because of me we were even in this situation.

  The woman at the reception desk wasn’t the same one I’d dealt with before, but she was just as friendly and helpful. She didn’t have the answers to my questions, but she assured me that she would find out and let me know. So I had Mandy and Amara meet me down in the dining hall for breakfast while we waited.

  Before we were finished eating, the nice woman from the front approached our table. The look on her face didn’t leave my stomach very settled. The closer she got, the worse my fear became, until my palms began to sweat and my heart raced a million miles per hour.

  “Good morning, Mr. Astor. I have someone on the phone for you at the front desk who can explain the flight situation.” Despite the smile on her face, her pleasant tone sounded forced and fake.

  I nodded, too nervous to attempt to speak. And after offering Mandy a small smile—a silent I’ll be back—and ruffling Amara’s hair, I got up and followed the woman to the grand foyer. She lifted the receiver off the cradle and passed it to me over the counter.

  “Hello?” My voice cracked, as if I had to force that one word out.

  “Hello, Mr. Astor. I hear you have some questions regarding your flight information. Is that correct?”

  I had no idea who I was speaking to other than it being a male with an extremely deep voice. He sounded very professional, making me wonder if he perhaps worked for the royal family. Considering the situation, it wouldn’t have surprised me if he did.

  “That’s right.” I cleared my throat and attempted to sound unaffected. “The tickets are for this afternoon, but our original itinerary has us leaving tomorrow morning. I’m confused about the change in departure times.”

  “An order has come down from King Thomas, stating that you must leave today.”

  Even though I had expected to hear something along those lines, it still didn’t make it any easier to accept. “But my reservation at the chateau is through tomorrow. I’ve already paid for the entire trip.”

  It seemed the blows just kept coming no matter how many times I’d been knocked down. Carly had taken my savings—again. And now, I would lose out on a night’s stay. All-inclusive or not, it was still part of the package I’d gone into debt to pay for. It just felt like one more kick to my gut.

  “The King has fully refunded your holiday, Mr. Astor. He’s sent his apologies for the inconvenience, but he’s made it clear that his decision remains; you must leave the country today.” He swallowed so harshly that I could hear it through the line. “He also wants you to know that you are not welcome back, and in the event that you attempt to return, you will be denied entry. That goes for air and sea travel. From here on out, you are banned from visiting Ilunabarra. Do you understand, Mr. Astor?”

  It took several long seconds to find my voice enough to say, “Yes, I understand.”

  Considering the seriousness of my actions involving the King’s daughter, I wasn’t surprised that I was being kicked off the island. In fact, I was surprised by the kindness I was shown—receiving a full refund for the entire trip, as well as not being forcibly removed. However, that didn’t make it any easier to accept the fact that I’d never again see Moira, let alone hear from her.

  I hoped I could get to a point where I’d be grateful for the six days I’d gotten to share with her. But at the moment, I was numb.

  After returning the phone to the receptionist, I headed back to the dining room to find Mandy and Amara. They were still eating, and even though I hadn’t finished the food on my plate, I was no longer hungry. Instead of rejoining them, I stood next to the table and said, “We have to leave today, so I’ll be upstairs packing. Take your time and finish your breakfast; we still have a couple of hours before the car picks us up.”

  Mandy didn’t need to ask what that call was all about, or why our flights had been change
d. If she couldn’t read it on my face, she was able to hear the truth in my tone. After all, she knew enough about what had happened yesterday with Moira to assume the reason for our abrupt departure.

  I mindlessly packed my bags, and when I finished, I went to the back bedroom and packed Amara’s as well. The girls had returned while I sat on the floor, folding my daughter’s clothes, though it was obvious I wasn’t in the mood to talk. So they kept to themselves in Mandy’s room.

  We were all packed and ready to go by the time the driver arrived. Someone had come to retrieve our luggage and escort us downstairs. Mandy took Amara to the waiting car while I stopped at the front desk to check out.

  The same woman from earlier was there, and with profoundly sympathetic eyes, she took my room key and handed me a few pieces of paper to sign. She folded my copies in half and slid them across the desk; however, when I went to take them from her, she refused to let me have them.

  That was when I met her stare, realizing just how close she was. She’d leaned forward and held the papers to the desk with her hand on top. In a hushed voice, she said, “I was told to make sure this doesn’t end up in anyone else’s hands. So please, if anyone finds out, I didn’t give it to you.”

  I took the papers and nodded my silent thanks.

  Acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had just taken place, I stuffed them into my carryon and headed outside to join Mandy and Amara. I was impatient—as well as fearful and anxious—to see what it was that she had given me. Although, I’d have to wait until I was alone to find out, which only made the drive to the airport that much longer.

  I wasn’t entirely sure who it had come from, but I prayed it was a message from Moira. I hadn’t heard from her since she left the suite yesterday—or should I say, since she was dragged out of the suite. I told myself that I would make peace with never having her in my life as long as I knew she was okay.

  To my surprise, we were dropped off on the tarmac of a small hanger. And instead of the tiny puddle jumper we had taken to get here from Heathrow, we were escorted onto a private plane. Amara was in awe of the leather seats, and I wasn’t sure if Mandy’s eyes could get any wider. I wanted to share in their excitement, but I was too focused on my carryon and what it contained.

  Finally, we were all instructed to take our seats and buckle up for takeoff. Mandy and Amara sat together while I took the couch-like seat—mainly because of the fact that I could see what the receptionist had given me without anyone looking over my shoulder. And once we were in the air, I unzipped the front of my bag and found the folded sheets of paper exactly where I had left them.

  Inside was a plain envelope, no writing or inscription on the front. Not wanting to draw attention to myself, I carefully opened it and pulled out a single piece of notebook paper folded in half with Moira’s delicate handwriting lining the front. It was enough to ease some of the ache, though not all.

  Dear Ryan,

  It pains me to write this to you, but I am afraid I don’t have any other choice. If I was able to tell you this in person, or at least over the phone, then I would have rather done so, but it seems that those are impossible options at this point. In fact, this will more than likely be my last communication with you.

  I need you to know that I do not regret what happened between us yesterday. It was so special, and it is a moment I will cherish for the rest of my life because it allowed me to understand so much about myself. While that’s a good thing, this situation also makes it a bad thing. Being with you made me recognize the extent of my feelings for you, and that is why it hurts so badly. I feel like I had just come to accept what you mean to me, only to have you ripped away from me for all of eternity.

  Everyone thinks we have only spent a few days together, but I believe it has been lifetimes. After all we have talked about and learned, not only about ourselves but about each other, I wholeheartedly believe that you are my soulmate. I can no longer ignore the force that has consistently pulled us together, and while I wish I could trust that force to continue until we get it right, I can’t. I think this happened so we could learn the lessons needed to bring us closer in our next life. As I have said before…our endings have already been written. This has all unfolded the way it was meant to.

  I want nothing but the best for you, and I will pray that you receive all the happiness in the world. You don’t deserve anything less. As for me, I will take with me the memory of you and the time we spent together and do everything I can to make you proud.

  Just because it is too late for our stories to come back together, it doesn’t mean my feelings for you are any less valid. And I don’t need to hear you tell me how you feel to know that yours are, too. No matter what life brings us, it will never be able to take away what we’ve shared together. You will always be the only man who will ever own my heart.

  Always yours,

  Moira xx

  It wasn’t until that exact moment that I realized I’d been holding my breath, unwilling to fully accept that my time with her had come to an end. But after reading her words, I could no longer deny the truth—the same truth that I’d ignored ever since finding out that she was the same girl who had saved me so many years ago.

  We were brought together by our pasts.

  And separated by our futures.

  Chapter 15

  Moira

  Everyone said things would get easier without Ryan here. They said my feelings would fade over time, and the harder I focused on what was in front of me, the better off I would be.

  Everyone lied.

  Ryan had been gone for three weeks, yet nothing was easier. My feelings hadn’t faded the tiniest bit, and even if I could have focused on my obligations and the future of this country every second of every day, I would still be worse off than I was when he was here.

  “I hate seeing you so down, Princess,” Patrick said on our way to a public hearing that I had to sit through—as if I hadn’t sat through enough of them. “Things are only going to get harder the closer you get to taking the throne. It’d be so much easier if you could climb out from under your dark cloud before then, because I’d hate to see your spirit die altogether.”

  I turned my head to face him and glowered. That was all the response he deserved after what he had put me through. Granted, out of everyone—Libby excluded—Patrick had been the most comforting. I knew he hadn’t approved of my relationship with Ryan, yet he was the only one who hadn’t tried to control it. He’d kept an eye on me, voiced his concerns and disappointments, but at the end of the day, I knew he would have supported it if he could. There were just too many hurdles in the way for him to have had the ability to do so.

  “You can’t change it, Princess, so you might as well accept it. Right? Sulking won’t fix anything, and it certainly won’t make anything better.”

  “I am not sulking.”

  He huffed a humorless laugh. “Then what would you call it?”

  “Giving in. My parents want me to wear the crown, so that is what I am going to do. No one wants me communicating with Ryan, so I haven’t. Mother wants me to marry a stranger…guess what that means, Patrick? Oh yeah, it means I am going to get married and have children with someone I don’t even know, let alone care about.” I had cried all the tears during the first week and a half after Ryan had gone home. I had nothing left in me at this point. “So no, I am not sulking. I am not pouting. I am being what everyone wants me to be.”

  He worried about me the way I had always imagined a father would worry about his daughter. I’d never had that kind of relationship with my parents, considering they were barely around to raise me. However, since Daniel’s death, they hadn’t left me alone. That was probably because they needed something from me. It made me wonder if my brother had felt this smothered and controlled. If only I could talk to him one more time to let him know that I understood.

  “I wish there was a way around those protocols, I really do.” Sadness drifted through his tone. “But this is just
something that comes with the territory. Trust me, you are not alone. Neither of your parents were happy about their marriage to begin with.”

  That earned my undivided attention. “What do you mean?”

  “Hasn’t your mother told you about this?” When I shook my head, he dropped his chin and sighed. “I really shouldn’t be the one to mention it then. Maybe you should ask her about it. I’m sure that will give you both a little quality bonding time.”

  “No, you brought it up, so you should finish explaining it to me,” I argued, too impatient to wait until I saw my mother again to find out from her.

  It was rather evident that he didn’t want to expand on what he had already said, but after everything I’d been through over the last several months, he wasn’t about to deny me the truth. “Fine, but you have to promise to keep this conversation between us. Okay?”

  “No worries, I won’t say anything.” I only planned to use the information he told me to ensure my mother didn’t leave anything out when I confronted her about it later.

  We didn’t have too far to drive, so he had to speak fast. While I hadn’t been able to get all the information, or even ask any questions, he had told me enough to at least start a conversation with my mother. I doubted it would change anything, so I didn’t want to get my hopes up. But if there was a chance that we could have a better understanding of each other, then I would take it.

  With Patrick’s words consuming my thoughts, I’d found it impossible to pay attention to anything going on during the public hearing. A small voice in the back of my head told me that I needed to focus on what was being said. Except I couldn’t. Because I had so many emotions running through me—anger for that fact that my mother refused to take my side, sadness for what she had been through herself, and frustration at the feeling that no one would listen to me.