A Crowe's Song Page 22

  “I’m just kidding,” she said, laughter billowing out around us. She must’ve found my reaction comical, because she slapped her hand to her chest and dropped her head back. “All I said is that we’ve hung out every day, and how you took me to the falls and out on the boat. Trust me, I did not give her all the details. We’re close, but we’re not that close.”

  “I’m not going to lie, Kenny…that is very good to know.”

  “She sounded skeptical, though, like she didn’t want to voice her opinion until I got home. Which means she probably thinks I have a crush on you or something.”

  I waited and waited for her to make a comment about that. I would’ve taken anything—a laugh, a giggle, red cheeks. Anything. But when she acted like what she said was no big deal, as if she’d just told me what she had for lunch, I decided to test the waters. “Well, you do, don’t you? You can’t possibly be the only woman immune to my charm.”

  “Oh, yeah. Sure thing, Drew.” Sarcastic humor dripped from her voice. “I’m utterly infatuated with you. In fact, I was going to propose to you tonight, but you’ve ruined that now, so I guess I’ll have to leave it and hope I’ll get another chance in the future to make you mine.”

  “Laugh all you want, but we both know you’ll miss me.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I caught her pulling her mouth to one side and biting the inside of her cheek as she stared off into the wilderness around us. “She did have good news, though.”

  The change in topic practically gave me whiplash. “News about what?”

  “Do you remember what I was telling you the other night about how my mom has been fighting with the courts over my grandfather’s estate? Well, she found out yesterday that the judge granted emergency access to his financial assets.”

  “Wow, that is really good news. So now she can take care of him without having to stress about money?”

  “Kind of. I guess his money is primarily invested in properties, so her lawyer’s trying to see what options are available to access funds. She didn’t say much more about it.”

  I dove head-first into the conversation about her family, mainly to stop the comment that she had a thing for me on repeat in my head. “I bet your mom is relieved to have that taken care of. She still has to look after your grandpa, but at least she won’t have to stress about finances. I remember what it was like for Grans at the end, and it wasn’t even for very long, so I can’t imagine what it’s been like for your mom.”

  “You’ve never told me about her—other than she died a few years ago. What happened?”

  “Cancer. She’d put so much of herself into this place that she never went for regular checkups or paid much attention to her health. It wasn’t like she was sick often or anything. In fact, I can’t remember a time when she was under the weather. She was a strong woman, but I guess she wasn’t strong enough to beat cancer. By the time she was diagnosed, it was too late to do anything other than keep her comfortable.”

  “That’s awful,” Kenny said, placing her hand on my thigh.

  “Yeah, but at least she didn’t have to suffer long. Once she reached the end, it happened so quickly. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had to watch her deteriorate every day. That’s one thing I’m so thankful for—she never lost her faculties. She was herself until the very last breath.”

  “I won’t lie…it’s not easy, but I don’t think it’s as difficult for me as it is for other people. I didn’t grow up with my grandfather as part of my life, so it’s not like I have all these memories of him that he can’t recall. I’m sure if that had been the case, it would be a lot harder.”

  I pulled up to the side of my house and parked the cart. But I wasn’t finished talking, so instead of getting out, I turned to face her and asked, “How’s your mom handling it? I know you said they didn’t have a very good relationship.”

  Kenny was quiet for a moment and then slipped her hand away. It made me want to hold onto her that much harder, but even I recognized this wasn’t the time to interfere. She appeared to struggle with her response, though it didn’t seem to be personal, as if her hesitation came more from not knowing what to say rather than how to say it.

  “I’m not entirely sure since she doesn’t talk about it much, and if she does, she doesn’t speak to me about it,” she finally said. “But from what I can tell, she’s pissed about the whole situation. I think she’s angry at having to take care of him when he never took care of her growing up. He missed out on all those younger years, so there’s resentment for that. But what I think bothers her the most is how he gets to conveniently forget about all the horrible things he did to her and my grandmother, yet she has to pretend none of it happened because he can’t remember anyway.”

  “Why do you think she feels that way if she doesn’t talk to you about it?”

  “Just little comments she’ll make under her breath from time to time.”

  I wasn’t sure if my questions were upsetting her, but rather than let fear deter me, I decided to continue our conversation until she chose to end it. “You haven’t said anything about your dad. Where is he? Does he help out?”

  For the first time since this conversation began, there was a hint of pain in her eyes. It wasn’t much, or even obvious, but there was a twinge of something. And it only served to encourage me that much more to know all I could about her.

  “He’s never been in my life. He bailed as soon as my mom told him that she was pregnant with me. I know his name, so I could find him if I wanted, but I don’t have any desire to do so. If he didn’t want to be in my life, then that’s his loss. Not mine.”

  I admired her attitude. I’d spent years bothered and pissed at my mom for leaving, and she was still technically in my life. She was absent most of the time, sure, but at least I didn’t have to find her…or introduce myself. It made me feel guilty for whining about my mom walking away. I must’ve talked about it several times, yet this was the first mention of her dad having never been in the picture.

  “Do you know much about him, or just his name?”

  Suddenly, that twinge of pain disappeared, and she reacted no differently than if we were talking about a news headline. “I looked him up a couple of years ago, when I was sixteen. I found him on social media, but I haven’t checked since. He had some personal information listed, like, he’s married with three kids, and it sounds like he has a good job, though I’m not sure what it is.”

  “So you have half-siblings?”

  “Yeah, brothers. If I’m honest, I have more of a desire to meet them, but it’s not like a need. You know? If it happens, it happens. If not, then oh well.” She nibbled on the inside of her cheek for a moment before meeting my stare again. “He might’ve chosen back then that he didn’t want to be in my life, but I’m the one who’s choosing now not to be in his.”

  “He’s the one missing out. It doesn’t seem like you’re lacking anything, and I have a feeling your life is better without him in it than it would’ve been had he stayed. My opinion may not be worth much, but I personally think you’re pretty darn awesome.”

  Her smile brightened her heavenly eyes and tinted her rosy cheeks. “Thank you, Drew. I happen to think you’re a pretty awesome dude, too. And I can’t say where I’d be or how my life would differ if he’d stuck around, but I can say I’m really freaking lucky to have you in my life…for however long that may be.”

  I didn’t know how long I’d remain a presence in her life, but I knew I’d feel her presence in mine until the day I died.

  Needing to change the subject before I said something I could never take back—something that would undoubtedly ensure her absence in my life—I circled back to what we’d been talking about and asked, “What’s your mom going to do when you leave for college?”

  She tilted her head the tiniest bit and regarded me with narrowed eyes and knitted brows. “I signed up for online schooling, so I won’t be going anywhere. I felt guilty about leaving, so I found an excellent co
llege that offers the courses I need without having to attend in-person classes.”

  Suddenly, I realized she was just as trapped in her life as I was in mine, except she didn’t seem to recognize it. Or maybe she did, but she certainly didn’t act like it. It was as though her sacrifices didn’t faze her. In fact, she portrayed herself to be different than me, like she was the one with options. But when I took a step back, it was clear as day that she didn’t seem to take advantage of them.

  I grabbed her hand and pulled it into my lap. “Would you have done that if your grandfather wasn’t there?”

  “Would I have done what? Taken online courses?” When I nodded, she shook her head and elaborated. “Well, no. I mean, I assume life would be completely different if he wasn’t part of the equation. I doubt my mom would even want me home if that were the case. But it’s not reality, so I didn’t really have much choice.”

  “Of course you do. Why can’t he go to a home where he’ll be provided with ’round-the-clock care?”

  “Depending on how much money he has in his estate, that might be an option, but until now, there was no way we could’ve afforded it. The only reason I’m able to go to college at all is through scholarships and grants.”

  Hearing her talk about her life made me want to reevaluate my own. I’d always felt like a prisoner to the resort, chained to my family’s legacy. All I saw was a lonely future and a life of unfulfilled desires. But now, listening to how hard someone as amazing as Kenny had it, I realized I’d been looking at everything the wrong way. If Kenny left here having only taught me one thing…it would be that opportunities and hardships don’t define us, but rather our attitude about it all is what makes us who we are.

  She could’ve easily complained about the added stress of living with someone who needed constant care or the hoops she had to jump through to get a degree, but she didn’t do either of those things. It would’ve been easy for her to have blamed her absent father for any relationship issues, yet instead, she accepted things for what they were and took ownership of her outcome.

  Kenny impressed the hell out of me.

  She inspired me, amazed me, and motivated me.

  “What about you? Have you ever looked into online classes?”

  I shook my head and forced myself to hold eye contact. “No, but after this chat, it’s definitely something I will think about. I don’t have a clue what I would go to school for or how I could implement a degree into my life here at the resort, but you’ve inspired me to at least look into it.”

  “I have?” Her eyes widened with awe lining her forehead. “How have I done that?”

  She made me want more from life, made me want to aspire to be more than I am, have more than I do, and become more than a carbon copy of my dad. But I couldn’t tell her any of that for fear of scaring her off. It was quite a bold statement to make, and I didn’t want to run the risk of her taking it the wrong way. So rather than confess the truth, I simply shrugged and said, “I guess you’ve shown me that it’s okay to make the most of what life’s given me.”

  Her eyes grew impossibly wider, though this time, it was excitement shining back at me. “Does this mean you’ll reconsider your stance on marketing for this place?”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at the way she practically bounced in her seat like she’d just won the lottery. “It doesn’t mean I will be able to do anything about it. Like I told you already, my dad is pretty set in his ways, but it does mean that, yes, I’ll look into my options.”

  This had to have been the first time I’d seen enthusiasm color her cheeks. It’d been embarrassment of some sort until now. And I had to admit, I preferred her eagerness to her humiliation any day of the week. Which might’ve had a little bit to do with the way she grabbed my face with both hands right before planting a very excited kiss on my lips.

  I’d do anything to earn those kisses.

  And I mean anything.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Kenny

  Drew had acted secretive most of the day. He’d told me that he had something planned for my last night, but he wouldn’t give me any hints or allow guesses. So while he was able to relax and enjoy our lazy afternoon at his place, I was too busy trying to figure out what he had up his sleeve. I’d never been very good with surprises—I loved them, but my impatience didn’t care much for them.

  “Are you going to tell me now?” I asked as we set off from his house.

  With a Machiavellian smile, he cut his eyes my way and shook his head.

  “Oh, come on, Drew. You’ve teased me all day.”

  The deep rumbles of humor that rolled through his chest raked across my arms, leaving behind gooseflesh in their wake. “I think you’ll find that you are the only one to blame for whatever torture you’ve endured over this. I’m not the one who’s brought it up over and over again.”

  “We’re not playing the blame game here, all right?” I tried to act offended, though it was a futile point. He knew I wasn’t. And what was worse was that we both knew he was right—if I hadn’t obsessed over his plans, then it wouldn’t have been mentioned at all.

  “You’ll see soon enough, I promise.” He reached over to take my hand and held it in my lap. Without looking at me, he smiled and added, “We’re almost there.”

  To my surprise, he turned into the parking lot for The Feeder. The way he’d acted all day, I had assumed it was more than grabbing dinner at the resort’s restaurant. While the food was good, I just expected something a little…more. However, I wouldn’t complain. Not only was I raised to be appreciative of anyone’s generosity, but I also enjoyed the food here. And I couldn’t complain about the company.

  Except, he surprised me when he squeezed my thigh and said, “I’ll be right back.”

  “We’re not eating here?”

  Either my face had given away too much, or he’d found my expression comical because his lips spread so wide it made him squint. “Good try, but I’m still not going to tell you anything. You’ll have to wait and see.”

  Drew hadn’t been inside long, but it was enough time for me to have come up with about seventy-seven different possibilities of what his plans could be. However, at least seventy-five of those were quickly dismissed when I caught him trotting down the wooden steps with two brown bags beneath his arms.

  “So we’re eating the food, just not here…” I tapped my chin, earning an amused eye roll.

  “You don’t quit, do you?”

  “Nope. I’ve been told it’s a good quality to have.”

  “True story,” he said as he navigated through the trees.

  When we reached the fork in the path, and he went right, toward his place, I really began to question where we were going, especially since we had just come from his house. But by the time he parked the cart on the side, I’d decided to stop trying to figure it out. I assumed we would have a picnic in his living room, which I was perfectly happy to have. Then he led me down the trail toward the dock, and the prospect of a picnic near the water excited me even more. Considering we’d missed the entire movie the last time we were here, I kind of hoped we could have a redo.

  But leave it to Drew to knock me off my axis yet again.

  Although this time, I wasn’t sure I could ever right myself after this one.

  My breath caught in my throat just as I covered my gaping mouth, staring in complete shock at the boat tied to the side of the dock. A blanket covered the platform at the front with a few pillows placed along the sides, a bucket of ice sitting between them. A bottle of wine—or champagne, I wasn’t sure which—was nestled in the cubes of ice.

  Drew didn’t say anything. Instead, he stood next to me and studied my reaction. I could see him out of my peripheral vision, though I was too busy taking in the romantic gesture to look at him.

  Finally, I turned my wide, dry eyes his way. “When did you do this? How? I mean, there’s no way that ice has been there all day without melting.” I’d been with him at his place ever sin
ce he picked me up this afternoon. Aside from using the restroom, he hadn’t left my side. There was no way he had time to put all this together without my knowledge.

  “I had some help from one of the guys. I thought you’d enjoy a sunset dinner on the water as your last meal at the resort. And who knows, maybe you’ll like it so much you’ll decide to come back sometime.”

  If only he knew how badly I wanted that very same thing.

  It was crazy—absolutely nuts—to have developed any sort of feelings for him in the week I’d been here. Even taking into consideration the fact that I’m a female, and we tended to feel faster and fall harder than our male counterparts. It was what it was…women are simply more emotional creatures than men. But even with all that, along with the knowledge that we’d spent every day together, shared incredibly personal conversations, and experienced some deeply meaningful, intimate moments, developing feelings still seemed crazy.

  Yet there I was…doing just that.

  It was only a matter of time before the concrete caught my fall.

  “You about ready?” he asked as he stepped onto the boat. He set the bags of food down and then reached for my hand to help me on. “While being on the water after dark isn’t prohibited, it wouldn’t be the safest option, and I wouldn’t feel very comfortable with it. So we should probably get going if we want to enjoy our dinner without rushing.”

  I took his hand and blindly followed.

  As we made our way toward the center of the lake, I stood silently next to him and allowed my emotions the space needed to root themselves deep inside. I doubted I would ever get to experience anything like this again, so I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t leave with any regrets. I wanted to remember every single detail of tonight.

  It would’ve been easy to shove my feelings down and lock them away, to pretend like this wasn’t the single most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for me, but I chose not to, because ignoring them didn’t make them go away. It would only bring about sadness and regret once I left. And I really didn’t care to have that added onto everything else I knew I’d feel come morning.